You're killing me Smalls.....

[Jaylee53]

This is completely just for laughs.... Do NOT think of posting anything serious or thought provoking here...EVER!

 

http://youtu.be/nGeKSiCQkPw

 

 

 

I mean it...... :-)

[Jaylee53]

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER"- He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
6.. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL- CRANIAL INVERSION."
8 He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE "
Please use your best judgment when referring to these people, so as to make it more comfortable for the rest of us.

[Bob Stepp]

[Jaylee53]

We are sooooo cracking each other up!!!!!

[TeeBubbaDee]

[Bob Stepp]

[Jaylee53]

HEY!!!  I would ask that....seriously.....:->

[Slim]

Jaylee53 is right.  That is a valid question.  The river is spelled M-I-s-s-i-s-s-i-p-p-i.  But the state is spelled, M-straight letter-crooked letter-crooked letter-straight letter-crooked letter-crooked letter-straight letter-humpback-humpback-straight letter.

[Bob Stepp]

to both of you.

[TeeBubbaDee]

Sorry for the language, but I found this and just had to share.

[Aggie]

An office manager arrives at his department and sees an employee sitting behind his desk totally stressed out. He gives him the advice: "I went home every afternoon for two weeks and had myself pampered by my wife. It was fantastic and it really helped, you should try it too!"

Two weeks later when the manager arrives at his department, he sees the man happy and full of energy at his desk. The faxes are piling up and the computer is running at full speed. "I see you followed my advice?"

"I did," answers the employee. "It was great! By the way, I didn't know you had such a nice house!"

[Jaylee53]

Uh oh.....:->

[Aggie]

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today!

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for the recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily and recycle. It is called the 401-Keg plan.

And, as a bonus... a recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that on average Americans drink 22 gallons of alcohol per year. That means that the average American gets about 41 miles to the gallon!

Makes you damned proud to be an American!