You're killing me Smalls.....

[Jaylee53]

This is completely just for laughs.... Do NOT think of posting anything serious or thought provoking here...EVER!

 

http://youtu.be/nGeKSiCQkPw

 

 

 

I mean it...... :-)

[TeeBubbaDee]

[CWO3ROBBIE]

A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says:  

 

 

 

 

 

 

'Well, that's great....that's just great..........some asshole's got my pen!'

[TeeBubbaDee]

[funesthememorious]

 

At the hospital, a doctor is training an intern on how to announce bad news to the patients. The doctor tells the intern "This man in 305 is going to die in six months. Go in and tell him."

The intern boldly walks into the room, over to the man's bedisde and tells him "Seems like you're gonna die!"

The man has a heart attack and is rushed into surgery on the spot. The doctor grabs the intern and screams at him, "What!?!? are you some kind of moron? You've got to take it easy, work your way up to the subject. Now this man in 213 has about a week to live. Go in and tell him, but, gently, you hear me, gently!"

The intern goes softly into the room, humming to himself, cheerily opens the drapes to let the sun in, walks over to the man's bedside, fluffs his pillow and wishes him a "Good morning!" "Wonderful day, no?

Say...guess who's going to die soon!"

 

[TeeBubbaDee]

[funesthememorious]

 

Three women met regularly in a bar after work for cocktails. One week, they entered the bar's weekly raffle. To their delight, each one a prize.

Woman #1, a red head, won first prize, which was a case of Guinness. Woman #2, a brunette, won second prize - a thick, juicy steak. The third woman, a blonde, won the third prize - a toilet brush.

The next time the three women saw each other in the bar, they talked about their prizes.

"My prize is great. The Guinness is excellent," said woman #1.

"So is mine. The steak was wonderful," said woman #2. She turned to woman #3, the blonde, and asked, "How's your toilet brush?"

"Not so good" she replied. "I think I'll switch back to paper."

 

[TeeBubbaDee]

A man walks outside to his car for work, when he notices a gorilla in his tree. He rushs to his phone book and finds the animal control number, calls and asks them to send over someone who's a gorilla expert. 

When the man arrives, he is carrying a shotgun, a chihuahua and a pair of handcuffs. The man says,''What are all of those for?'' 

The animal control officer says, ''I'll climb up in the tree, knock the gorilla down, the dog will bite him in the nuts and you must slap the handcuffs on his wrists.'' 

The man asks, ''What is the gun for?'' 

The animal control officer responds, ''If I fall first, you shoot the dog!'''

[TeeBubbaDee]

[TeeBubbaDee]

[CWO3ROBBIE]

Took me a minute to figure this one out.

Well, it is still Sunday morning. Most of the US population is in a state of befuddlement on Sunday mornings.

[TeeBubbaDee]

[TeeBubbaDee]