TBD on Ning
You're killing me Smalls.....
This is completely just for laughs.... Do NOT think of posting anything serious or thought provoking here...EVER!
I mean it...... :-)
Tags: dead thread, key holder, roflmao, tickle me please
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by TeeBubbaDee on
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Permalink Reply by flippr 2.0 on
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Permalink Reply by Aggie on
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A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied...
"Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"....I just lost it......."CASE DISMISSED!!"
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Sally was in the Fox and Hounds at Newbridge last Saturday night, when this really ugly looking guy walked into the bar.
She told me later: "The wierdo came over to the bar and pinched my bum. Then he had the nerve to demand, 'Give me your number, sexy.'"
I replied, "Have you got a pen?"
He smiled and said, "Yes."
I replied, "Well you better get back to it, before the farmer notices you're missing."
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Barry Farmer got into his Toyota 4 by 4 and drove to the neighbouring ranch and knocked at the door. A young boy, Neil, aged about 9, opened the door.
'Is yer Dad home?' Barry demanded.
'No, sir, he ain't,' Neil replied. 'He went into town.''Well, then,' inquired Barry, 'is yer Mom here?'
'No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Dad.''How about your brother? Is he here?'
'He went with Mom and Dad,' explained Neil patiently.Barry Farmer stood there for a few seconds, shifting from one foot to the other and muttering to himself.
'Is there anything I can do fer ya?' Neil asked politely. 'I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one. Or maybe I could take a message fer Dad.'
'Well, it's difficult,' answered Barry uncomfortably, 'I really wanted to talk to yer Dad. It's about your brother getting my daughter pregnant.'
Neil considered for a moment, 'You would have to talk to Pa about that,' he finally conceded. 'If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $600 for the bull and $60 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets fer Howard.'
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