TwitBook

[Bmichael]

...The Ranch's answer to you -know - what - with no rules.

Go ahead...tell us what you're having for dinner - we can't wait! Got a cute pic of kitty peeking out of a paper bag? Post it! We live for that stuff!

Math addict? How about a refresher on the Pythagorean Theorem?

Like macaroni and cheese? Tell us why!

So even if you're not a writer or a poet (yet), there's still plenty of fun things to do at the Armadillo!

Oh baby, oh baby!

[Bmichael]

I like to read bumper stickers – many are simple advertising (Doo Wop Shop, Big O Tires), political statements (Don’t Blame Me – I Voted For CarolT), lifestyle statements (I Love Animals – They’re Delicious!), religious statements  (Black Jews For Jesus (now that’s food for thought) ), social commentary (How’s My Driving? Call 1-800- Eat Fecal Matter), and undefined (My Great Pyrenees is smarter than your Honor Roll Student).

And every once in a while I come across a real head scratcher…like today.

 

In the parking lot of the super mega store, there was a late model Cadillac Escalade with 2 curious stickers – not on the bumper, but actually on the paint.

Sticker #1 said “I (Heart Icon) Crack Whores”

Sticker #2 said “I Masturbate”

And, by the way… What if the Hokey Pokey IS really what it’s all about?

[Westerly_2]

Also good

[Bmichael]

Thanks!

By the way, if you suddenly find yourself not getting enough Bmichael during these long, dark winter nights...well, now there's a cure.

I recently created a new blog - smoketownyards.blogspot.com

And while it's unlikely that you'll see anything in the yards that you haven't seen here first - the colors are prettier.

[Carol T]

I like the photos in the other blog, B.  I was surprised to see that you are the only blogger whose location is Marginally Happy Valley, though.  I would think that place would be crawling with you artist-types.

[Carol T]

And now for something completely different.

http://www.utah3d.net/utah-travel/bonneville-salt-flats/salt-flats-...

I'm reminded of this verse from Home on the Range:

"How often at night when the heavens are bright,
With the light from the glittering stars,
Have I stood there amazed and asked as I gazed,
If their glory exceeds that of ours."

[Bmichael]

Very, very nice...would love to see that!

[Bmichael]

25 Websites That Will Make You Cleverer

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/technology/25-killer-websites-that...

[Bmichael]

At first I thought it had something to do with aging – as we’re accustomed to thinking. You get older…it’s natural to start forgetting things, they say. But just because  I occasionally misplace my keys…or my couch…doesn’t  necessarily mean that Alzheimer’s is lurking at the door.

For awhile, I blamed it on my mother. She had a long, vibrant history of mental weirdness, and these things are often passed down to the next generation- perhaps manifested in different ways.  The thing is, she never forgot anything…ever…and was always quick to point out every and any indiscretion or screw-up in my life since I was two years old. 

I think she passed that on to my brother who is still fuming over the coin collection incident four or five decades ago.

I also thought that the blue lady (and her various colleagues – jajaja…) contributed in some way many ways…and that’s a fact.

And still do.

I also considered spirit – or lack of it  -highs and lows…lows and highs…

I thought of how we change over time.

 I can still lift weights – just not as heavy as before.

I can still write, though inspiration is not as frequent.

(does anybody remember what year TeeBeeDee started?)

Can still cook…you just ask Ina ... she loved the Thanksgiving pasta… but then, I think she’s interested in more than just my noodles and gravy. (Oh baby, oh baby!)

Never had a job that wasn’t complicated. Maybe I just wore the brain out.

“Why don’t you try writing things down…you know, make lists?”

“I do.”

“What happened?”

“I forget to check ‘em.”

And then I found the article. They found out that internet usage has an effect on short term memory.

Of course, I don’t remember what it said.

Makes perfect sense, though…I spend a lot of time on the internet – both at home and work.

Feel much better now.

 

[Westerly_2]

What was the coin collection incident; do we want to know?

[Westerly_2]

I remember the year I was nine my brother snitched to my mom I had let somebody else ride my precious expensive bike they told me no one else was to ride. It was either a mistake or a lie on his part. In any case, I  got my ass whupped for letting and then for lying about it, since I later just said oh yes I lied to get her off my back. But that just make it worse. Hope the coin thing was better than that.

[Bmichael]

Umm…let’s see…not real sure…it’s a bit murky…er…uh…something about an over-valued penny, the Town & Country Market….a gumball machine…and an Atomic Fireball….uh…really don’t remember the details…oh yeah, oh yeah…and a stranger…yeah, that’s right – there was a stranger who I never saw before and … he was this really tall…no…short…probably hiding in the closet who…

…that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

[Carol T]

I keep meaning to post, but I don't know where to begin -- my job is crazy-making.  Here's an example:  Drove a 5-year-old home from her appointment.  Went into her house because I can't leave her if there's no one home and the door was unlocked. 

Started calling for Mom, "Hello?  Mom?" 

I get a reply, "Hello!" 

"Mom?" 

"Hello!" 

Kid: "That's Oscar." 

"Who's Oscar?" 

"He's a bird." 

Sure enough, there's a parrot in a corner of the next room.  I continue to search the house, with Oscar talking to me the entire time.  He has an extensive enough vocabulary that sometimes he sounds like another person. 

Finally it's clear that Mom's not home, so I call work to find out what to do.  After extensive dithering, the caseworker tells me where to take the kid.  Just as we're leaving, Oscar starts imitating a smoke detector, very loudly.  I jump about a foot.  Kid laughs at me.

THE END