TBD on Ning

We have tragedies in our lives. We lose people, body parts, pets, things, our youth, our idéologies, our naiveté, our skin tone, and sometimes - bits of ourselves, that we must hunt for and retrieve /;->

Here is a place each of us can come to to grieve. It does not matter what you grieve, it is just good that you do so. We will support you here, and also in "Crying". Wherever you feel most comfortable. Weep away. Express your angst. Whatever it is, we are here for you. Listening with care, compassion and with recognition and empathy.

This is also a "room" for remembrance. And tributes. Post pictures, videos, poems, whatever you like, that helps you mourn and celebrate your loss. "Celebrate" you say ? Yes! Within every loss lies a celebration of further knowledge and understanding of the human condition. It is through suffering that we learn compassion, empathy, and the knowledge that will bring us eventually closer to the ideal of "as above - so below " until there is no longer an "in between". We will eventually achieve another plateau. Another dimension of "being'.

If we don't comment - it's not because we don't care. Sometimes, companionable silence is the best partner within the circle of shared experience. When we do comment, know it is with our heart's song in accord. This is a non denominational safe "room'. All women of faith are welcomed here, regardless of your persuasion. We all believe in something, even if it's nothing. Please feel free to express yourself.

Tags: age, death, fires, floods, grief, lost_shoes, loved_ones, mourning, pets, religious_freedom, More…sex?, sex_after_40, trauma

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Dedicated to the memory of our cat Frankie Fiasco ~ Black Sabbath - "Heaven & Hell ": April 10th, 2002 - Sept.11th, 2009 R.I.P. OR - come bug us in our sleep time - as usual!

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Awwww, darlings, this is what you will miss most...

KathyArlene, it's so true. From not having cat experience to now being addicted to cat - I find myself seeing her in all the "old familiar places", and I'm still inadvertently side stepping her ghost as I exit the front or back door, Waking by habit at 6 AM awaiting the plaintive meowing to be let out . . . opening the fridge and still "seeing" the cat food and turning to see her looking up at me with - could it be - a smile ?

I've had dogs, big dogs, die in my arms. I've known the great deep pain of animal loss.

But this loss, my very first pussy cat in more than 45 years, one that 'adopted" me - despite I'm sure her better judgement ;-D and who made my new home, a home, has hit me hard. It's much better today, as it will be of course. Douglas is so charmed and touched by everyone's kind sentiments. Thanks everyone - so much. More sniffling.

Now - I really must nudge our 1Great Lady to join us here so that she can mourn her shoes that she lost in the recent flooding!
OMG!!! A half hour ago I peeked into Douglas's bedroom ( to see how he was doing and he was having nap - we rather tied one on last night - all night ) and - are you ready, he has Frankie's fav. black tee shirt of her's on the bed, with a picture of Frankie lying atop it. Oh my.

Soooooooo - we just watched this for the first time together, I have to say Chez - we are rolling about laughing wit tears in our eyes! It's perfect! So true!!! Thank you!
I'm glad it fit...
Oh sweetie. Things. We only borrow them for a time. *CUDDLE & HUGS & handkerchief - more sniffles * Poor sweet pea. You really have had a very rough go of it.

There is a wonderful quote about things from the book Utz by Bruce Chatwin I must hunt down. The story revolves around a man who has a Meissen porcelain collection that is incomparable. This collection is his passion. The catch is that he lives in the Communist Czechoslovakia under the regime of Stalin. Utz may travel once a year - and each year he contemplates defection - yet he can not take his collection with him, nor can he leave it, even knowing full well that upon his death, the collection becomes the property of the state. So Utz is owned by his collection as much as it is owned by him. And thus he is also - a prisoner of the state, who really owns his collection.

I have "lost" so many things. i think I will write about it all here some time too. Know that every thing still exists - somewhere else, even if it no longer 'exists' in this dimension and time frame. This is hard to explain, but it's a lesson I learned during my 2nd near death experience that I was permitted to remember with clarity.

We - every single one of us, can empathize I'm certain. Things ground us. They reflect our accomplishments, our taste, our habits, our comforts, our talents, our dreams come true. They also often serves as a crutch.

But in the end, things are just borrowed bits of time, made concrete by our imagination and our desire. Your sense of humour through all of this, here and in other areas of tbd, has been impressive, to say the least. We are all so proud of you. Well done.

You will rebuild - and even though you lost so much, as you say - you have things you managed to save.

Your beau may feel that he wishes he could replace your lost shoes, your cherished things - so he may be sharp with you about it to hide his pain for you. Just a thought. Make a pact with him that he treat you to one pair of sweet shoes, to make up for dropping you in the flood waters! /;-D And then you will promise not to whinge too much to him about it all! (Come here and whine - we get it!!!)

Please keep us updated. And when you need a cry - and it will come, we will be here for you. xox
Beautiful poem KathyArlene, I've been thinking about it the last few days. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Πάντα ῥεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει
Everything flows, nothing stands still. ~ Heraclitus

(Ηράκλειτος (Herakleitos; Heraclitus) of Ephesus (c.535 BC - 475 BC) was a Greek philosopher, known for his doctrine of change being central to the universe, and for establishing the term Logos (λόγος) in Western philosophy as meaning both the source and fundamental order of the Cosmos.)
{{{HUGS}}} Diana. I'm sorry for the loss of your beloved pet.
I'm so deeply sorry for your loss DD3.

In the past four years I've experienced the loss of eight people, all of whom were very close to me. Sometimes it has all been so overwhelming I've just been in shock for days, operating on auto pilot. The urge for and need for some sort of consistency, security and normality has been of great importance to me of late, even though I know full well that as you say DD3 - it is all ephemeral, and an illusion as Einstein was wont to say, albeit a persistent one. I found my favorite words from UTZ (written by Bruce Chatwin).

"Things, I reflected, are tougher than people. Things are the changeless mirror in which we we watch ourselves disintegrate."

Now on that cheery note /;-D lovely words Dogdreams Three and great image. Thank you.
Dazzling, I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your Frankie. Cats have a way of sneaking into our affections and we don't even realize it at first. I can feel your loss.
I'm so sorry about your Kitty, Diana. I would be desperately unhappy if either of my cats died. I lost a dog in January and I still cry when I think of him. Big hug and lots of love!




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