Seeing someone who flirts

[Grandma Helen]

If you are seeing someone and you realize they flirt with others while you're out, does it bother you?  How would you handle it?  Does it make you angry or do you secretly enjoy it?

[Mickchick]

I've got enough self confidence not to be bothered when I'm in a relationship with someone who is friendly with members of the opposite sex - chatting, hugs, even compliments, don't bother me.  Now, if I was with someone and they actually were coming on to someone else  ... never would get to be in a relationship with me to begin with, and if we were already in one, there would be a discussion about it, it wouldn't happen again, or the relationship would be over. 

My ex-b/f and the guy I'm currently seeing are both very gregarious, social people, and when they've had a little to drink, they become more outgoing.  Touchy feely types - pats on the shoulder/back, hugs, cheek kisses - none of that bothered/bothers me, because they made/make it obvious to me and everyone else that they are with me and interested in being with ME, not anyone else.  I've seen other guys with women who may be standing at their side, may even have their arm around the woman they are with but are constantly looking at other women and - it's in their eyes - you can just see the difference, it's hard to describe but it's there and it's obvious.  The break up with the ex had nothing to do with him being friendly with other women or flirting with them, though I never thought of it as actually "flirting" and if I had, then we probably would have had the talk~

[Mickchick]

Yeah, there's a definite difference between being friendly and sociable and out right flirting, and they were BOTH wrong, especially since they were making you feel left out.  Perhaps if he had "flirted", while putting his arm around you, giving you a little squeeze that you could feel and she could see, and looked and smiled at you while he was flirting - then you and she would have had a clear message that it was all in fun and you were the only one he was interested in ... I guess what I might consider as flirting isn't REALLY flirting at all, because what you've described would definitely bother me!

[Lilrain]

It's disrespectful of you, I wouldn't hang with him long.

[Mickchick]

There seems to be a disconnect in between the men that I've known and myself and my girlfriends.  WE think we are paying you the highest compliment we can when we say we don't NEED a man, but we WANT one.  To us, I don't NEED a man means I'm not co-dependent, I don't want you for your money, or because you can fix things around the house, or be a piece of eye candy when I need to go somewhere. Saying I want a man means I want THAT specific human being in my life  because I love him, he adds to my happiness in a life I already find enjoyable, there is something about him and between us, that no one else can provide.  It has nothing to do with tangible things and everything to do with the intangible.

Maybe men are still trapped into feeling that being needed to physically provide for a woman is a standard to understand/feel that they are loved, while women have had to learn that being dependent and "needing"a man has let her in a very vulnerable position when the man she has depended upon to support her financially and physically, leaves her/dies and shes 40 years old, doesn't have a job, let alone a career, doesn't know how to take care of things around the house, and doesn't know how to pay her bills.  My first husband had issues with that, and I followed him all around the midwest as he worked on his career, working minimum wage jobs to supplement his income, always starting at the bottom, and ending up with nothing to my name when he fell in love with a different minimum wage temp who worked in his office.  Luckily for me, I had gotten my J.D. a year and a half earlier.  I didn't have any money (I wasn't going to fight him for maintenance), I didn't have anything but what I could put in the back of the car, but I wasn't going to stay with a man who preferred to be with someone else's wife and who not only cheated on me but lied to me, face to face, for months. 

I TOLD my second husband before we got married that I didn't NEED him, but that I wanted to be with him more than anything else in my life.  His feelings were hurt by that, to

[Karin M Fichtner]

My childrens' father was a bit of a flirt.  I thought it was funny in those early days.  I'd even point out good -looking girls on the street for him to beep the horn at.  But I found out the hard way, that he wanted to do much more than flirt.  He couldn't stay faithful to save his soul.  

I would not like it anymore.  I've learned my lesson.  

[Dee Holland Eidson]

It would certainly bother me to have my current male interest or a date flirt while with me. I think it is very rude and inconsiderate. I guess I am kind of the jealous type. If i treat him with respect and attention I expect the same from him.

[mercerquietman]

This is one of those questions that is tough to answer. There's all kinds of flirting; it depends. Generally, it wouldn't bother me at all.

[Johnnieboy]

If I were out with someone and they started flirting I would probably get up and walk out. They are basically saying that I'm with you, but if something more interesting comes along I'm available.

[flippr 2.0]

[dwalt]

Teasing around is one thing, I do that. But out and out flirting...ummm nope, that's just tacky.

[dwalt]

You are right. It has gotton to be a "me,me,me" world out there. Blame part of it for having to be so "PC". Nope, not me.

[dwalt]

Phil you are so right.  There is no honor or pride anymore.  All you have to do is keep it simple.  Don't lie, cheat, or steal.

Be nice and if your neighbor needs a little help...well help them.  I don't mean hand outs, just a helping hand.  Try to believe in something good.  Smile, open doors for people, just a little kindness. If more people did that the world..well we would be a better place.