That goat had actually escaped his pen and was on the loose, but he knew where to go.
So a married woman who had a 9 year old son became attracted to another guy and started having him come visit her for "romantic encounters" during the day while her husband was at work & her son was at school.One day, the son comes home unexpectedly early from school, wonders about the strange car in the driveway, hears noises coming from his parents' bedroom upstairs, & sneaks upstairs unnoticed into the bedroom & into the closet so he can watch what was going on. All of a sudden there are footsteps heard on the stairs, the mother hisses frantically to lover man, "Oh, no; my husband's come home early from work! Here; hide in the closet 'till I can get rid of him" & shoves him into the closet without realizing her son's already in there. So lover man & the boy just glance at each other & stay quiet so they don't get caught. And then, the boy whispers to Lover Man, "Dark in here." Lover Man whispers, "Yeah, it is." Boy then whispers, "Guess what!" "What, kid?" "I have a baseball!" "That's nice, kid." "Wanna buy my baseball? Only $50." "What?! Fifty bucks?! No way do I wanna buy your stupid baseball for fifty bucks!" "Oh, well, then maybe I should get outa here & have a chat with my Dad." "Oh, all right, all right, kid; I'll give you $50 for the darn baseball, sheeze!" And he did.
Coupla weeks later, Lover Man is back at the house enjoying Mom's company one weekday afternoon; the son comes home early again & sneaks into the closet; Dad comes home early again; Mom shoves Lover Man into the closet again still not realizing her son's in there. So Lover Man & the boy are sitting there & the boy whispers, "Dark in here." Lover Man sighs & whispers, "Whaddaya want this time, kid?" The kid whispers, "I have a baseball glove; you wanna buy it for $100?" Lover Man whispers "$100?! Are you kidding?!" Kid whispers, "You know, I can still have that talk with my dad." Lover Man says, "Okay, okay; $100 for the glove, geez!" and pays the kid off.
Coupla weeks after that, Dad comes home from work at his regular time & says, "Hey, son; I feel like I've been neglecting you lately. Let's you and me go out back & toss the ball back & forth." Kid says, "I can't, Dad; I sold my ball & glove." Dad says, "You sold 'em?! What did you sell 'em for?!" Kid says, $150 total." Dad says, "You oughta be ashamed of yourself, charging 1 or 2 of your little friends that much for that old ball & glove! Go get in the car right now! I'm taking you to church to Confession for being so greedy!" So he takes the boy to the church, walks him up to the Confessional booth, says, "Go in there & confess your sin! I'll meet you back in the car."
So the kid goes into the confessional booth, closes the door, sits down, & says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Don't start that sh*t up again, kid; you're in MY closet now!"
Yesterday I say a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems". So I bought two copies.
Haha! Also call if any suspicious roadrunners are sighted speeding on Rt. 75.