Father's Day

[imaginethat]

Father's Day is coming right up. Tell us about your Dad. What did he do for a living? What did he do that you will always remember? I am looking for those fond memories...

[flippr 2.0]

he was cool!

[LoveLife&Laughter]

Lehigh Chemical Engineer, worked in the paint industry for Dutch Boy / Titanium Pigment.  He loved making the worst (lol) cups and pots, member of a club on Jekyll Island and he loved turning rocks into jewelry on his lapidary set up in the garage.

 

 

 

[TeeBubbaDee]

Don't know a lot about him because my parents divorced when I was 4 or 5. According to the stories my mom told, he was a no good, abusive drunk. I was told the reason my little sister was born with her intestines on the outside was because he had kicked my mother in the stomach when she was pregnant. There are too many stories to tell here, but curiosity made me track him down after I graduated high school, and I spent a couple of days with him. He was living in the same tiny town where they divorced, Cumberland Furnace Tennessee. He had no regular job. Since town was in a dry county, he went to Dickson once a week and loaded his car, (trunk, front and back seats) FULL of beer and booze. Business could happen at any time of the day, but most of it was after dark. There would be some hillbilly banging on his back door hollering JOHNNY!!! He sold beer and booze out the back door for double and triple what he paid for it in Dickson. I asked him why didn't these people go to Dickson and buy their own booze. He looked at me and said, "Well, I guess they're just plain ignorant". He lived with a woman, Roosie, that he said he had gotten from "up in the hills". Roosie had never been inside a school, and when he said jump, she didn't ask how high. 

Probably not the uplifting "Dad" story that belongs here, but it is what it is. Oh, by the way, my mom remarried when I was about 7. Another drunk, but he seemed OK before they got married, but ignored us kids afterwards. The whole deal lasted 6 months. She remarried again when I was 11. Not too bad in the beginning, but ended up another drunk, and he was a pedophile too. The signs were there, I was just too young and naive to understand when he asked to see my penis. 

PS. I didn't show him, but didn't tell anyone either. I found out many years later that he had touched my little sister, and I'm pretty sure he got his hands on my little brother too.

PSS. Sorry for the story, and I hope to read many more stories about the really good fathers!!!!!!!!!!!

[imaginethat]

You are right teebubbadee....it is what it is. While my Dad had his own roofing and sheet metal business that supported us (8 kids, 4 girls, 4 boys), he was also an alcoholic that became more and more violent in his behaviors as time passed. He was a WWII veteran. He never hit us, but was so horrible and loud. He did crazy, out of control things and ran us all out of the house. Mom put up with it for years and then finally divorced him. He is 88 now. He has long since stopped drinking, but the damage to our family was/is hard to get over. I have to remember that we are supposed to honor our father....there are no conditions, we are supposed to honor them. He is sorry now, but is alone alot of the time. He lives in an old folks home and is still fairly independent, but he seems so frail now, and lonely, which makes me sad. I do not see him as often as I should, but my own family and job are consuming my time. He had a crappy childhood and that translated into a broken existence. He had every blessing in the world to live for, but chose to wallow in self pity, re-living his own past hurts.  The good things I remember are Sunday drives with the family, and that he took my brothers fishing. I remember he taught me the jitterbug...lol. At least I have that. He largely ignored us though.  P.S.  My Mom more than made up for his shortcomings. I am so lucky.

[TeeBubbaDee]

We have to take what life is given to us, and make it our own imaginethat. No sense in letting old crap mess up a good life. 

[TeeBubbaDee]

PS. I wrote a short story when I was in the original TBD's writer's group, titled The Old Man Didn't Give A Shit, based on my father. (a couple of the members in the group that it was good enough to publish) Some of the story is real, some is total fiction. Again, it's a very short story, but would be a long post here. Anybody interested, PM me, and I can dig it up.

[TeeBubbaDee]

Since I was such a downer before, I'll tell you about my father in law. Just a great guy. I don't remember when he told me he quit school, but I don't thing he got past 9th or 10th grade. Ran away from home at 16, and worked his butt off to make a life for him and his family. Treated me like a son, and I loved him. 

 I did write a piece about his death. It's short, so I'm going to post it here. This is titled Dad's Last Laugh. (true story)

 

Two phrases had been stuck in my head. Please don’t let him be in pain, please don’t let him be afraid. I had never watched someone die before. 

He was my wife’s Father, but I called him Dad too. An intestinal blockage had brought him to the hospital, but after three good years, the cancer was back. I was going to miss cooking dinner for him. I was going to miss rubbing the top of his balding head. Miss the smile on his face when he played with the dog. 

We stood around that bed, waiting, watching him die. I watched Dad, watched my wife. She had seen others die in this bed. She is a critical care nurse, and this is her unit. I wondered what would go through her mind the next time she walked into this room, watched someone else die in this bed? 

There had been five of us watching. My wife was at he head of the bed holding his hand. Our daughter stood next to her,. His son and daughter in law, were at the foot of the bed. I was at the top on the other side across from my wife. 

He had been unresponsive for several hours. But then his eyes opened, then focused. He smiled as he saw the people he loved. He looked at each of us. He started with my wife, then our daughter, his son and his wife. When he finally, he got to me, his smile turned into a chuckle, then a laugh, and he slipped away. 

 

 

[officerripley]

yeah, my dad was no prize either.  I did like a toy robot he got me one year for christmas.

[Lifesighs]

My Dad was the real deal, he raised three kids by himself the oldest wasn't even his because he married my mother when she was preggers with someone else's baby. He was a strict kind of guy in some ways but we had all kinds of freedoms that other kids didn't have. He made sure we went to church every sunday, we had vacations every year and went to the state fair and circus. He drove me and my friends to skating, swimming, movies or what ever else I could think of to go to. He cooked, not always very good but edible for the most part. He was not perfect but did the best he could. He didn't smoke or drink much at all, in later years he drank one small glass of wine per day because he thought it was good for his health. He babysat for me and for my brother when we needed someone. He died when he was 70, too young and I still miss him.

[Johnnieboy]

I never knew my natural father. He died when I was six months old. He lied about his age to get into the Merchant Marines and then the Navy in WW-II. After the war he met my mom and I was born in 1949. She was 18. He was attending junior college studying drafting and played on the football team at Santa Ana JC. They had a good team and made it to the Junior Rose Bowl in 1949. Unfortunately he was not there for the game. Two weeks prior he was killed in a motorcycle accident when a guy failed to stop at a stop sign and my dad broadsided him. There is a long story behind what happened after that. The guy was from a wealthy family and he went back to his native Japan to avoid the consequences. My mom even ended up having to pay for the storage of his totaled bike. Three years later my mom remarried to the Dad I have known all of my life. He is a kind loving person in the twilight of his years. He will be 87 in December and has some issues but still lives alone, (my mom passed in 2011.). He still drives and is one heck of a dad. He was an auto mechanic his whole life and could diagnose your car's problem over the phone. (Start it up and let him listen.) What a guy.!

[imaginethat]

TeeBubbaDee, you write so well. The picture you drew for us was vivid and real. I enjoyed reading it. Johnnieboy is an equally gifted writer. Thank you for sharing such intimate parts of your lives.  ~Hugs~ to you all for sharing about your Dad's.

[Johnnieboy]

I'm proud to share their lives.