TBD

TBD on Ning

Welcome to the forum where you can laugh at somebody else's misfortune and mistakes, the exercise in futility and Murphy's Law. I must give thanks to despair.com for a lot of the images and the inspiration. The gloves are off...!ENJOY!

Tags: Comedy

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Are You Ready?

A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey, are you ready yet?"

Shouting back, the woman replies, "For crying out loud, Dewey, I've been telling you for the last half hour... I'll be ready in a minute!"

Brand New Grand Cherokee
Michigan, USA.

A man buys a brand-new Grand Cherokee for over 30 thousand dollars with 400+ dollar monthly payments. He immediately finds his friend and they decide go duck hunting. However, all the lakes in their area are frozen.

They travel to the lake with their guns, their hunting dog, their beer, and the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. Remember, it's all ice, and to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck wants to fly down and land on, it is going to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill.

Out of the back of the new Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse. Now, these two men know that if they place the stick of dynamite on the ice far from where they and the Grand Cherokee are standing, they take the risk of slipping on the ice when they run from the burning fuse and possibly going up in smoke with the resulting blast. So, they decide to light this 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite.

Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle, the beer, the guns, and the DOG? Yes, the dog -- a highly trained black lab used for retrieving, especially things thrown by the owner. The dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and gets the stick of dynamite (with the burning 40-second fuse) at about the same time it hits the ice, while the two men yelling, stomping, waving arms, and wondering what to do now.

The dog happily heads back from where it came from moments before, with the stick of dynamite, only to the mounting woes of the men, now really waving their arms, yelling even louder, and jumping to new heights than ever before. Now one of the guys decides to think, grabs a shotgun, and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 duck shot, hardly big enough to stop a black lab on its appointed rounds. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, and continues on. Another shot, and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course scared, thinking these men have gone insane. He takes off to find cover, with the now really short fuse burning on this stick of dynamite. The cover the dog finds? Underneath the brand-new Grand Cherokee sitting on the lake ice.

BOOM!

The dog dies instantly, and it and the brand-new Grand Cherokee sink to the bottom of the lake, leaving the men standing there with this "I can't believe this happened" look on their faces.

Later, the owner of the vehicle calls his insurance company, which tells him that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is not covered. He had yet to make the first of those 400+ a month payments.

Good one.

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