TBD

TBD on Ning

Who are the people who have made a major impression on your thoughts or life?

I am thinking today of a friend from online who passed several years ago. Her sn was W1nterSolstice, a beautiful, but fragile soul. She had a passion for photography which soon got me and another lady in our group hooked to the hobby. She made a profound impact on me because of her grace and gentleness, but also because of her imperfections and human frailty. I remember being startled the first time I met her in person with other group members from the Ramblers. She was much older than she led us to believe online. It took a few minutes for my mind to adjust to her physical reality to match my mental one. Others in our group have criticized her because of that deception, I tried to withhold judgment, but I too was uncomfortable with her deception and it was pity that made me less rigid with judging her. She had just gotten a divorce and was having difficulty adjusting to the changes and her husband's betrayal and was moving around a lot. To combat her misery, she traveled a lot, participated with all of us in chatroom activities and email postings to the degree it took up most of her life as it did mine at one point. She did have wonderful insights and was a great poet. She was also charming and fun to be with in real life. It was her vulnerability that made me more aware of my own human frailty--the need to escape into myself in cyberspace. She made me more sensitive to what drives people to dishonesty sometimes and to understand better the shades of gray in our lives. Since I  prefer my moral boundaries to be delineated in black and white, I struggle with dealing with the gray areas in life. She helped me learn to acknowledge the gray areas and be less judgmental.

"I like flawed characters because somewhere in them i see more of the truth."  -- Nicholas Cage

Tags: friendship, truth

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Replies to This Discussion

My parents impressed me the most. They both had given me the foundation necessary to lead a happy and healthy life.
BAF I've often wondered if people remember me the way I remember them. The girls I've known. Do they ever think of me? The kid who taught me how to draw dinasaurs in the 3rd grade. My 6th grade teacher who was beautiful and gave me chocolate for winning the spelling bee. Simple things that somehow stuck in my mind. Do you think they remember?
BAF I've often wondered if people remember me the way I remember them. The girls I've known. Do they ever think of me? The kid who taught me how to draw dinasaurs in the 3rd grade. My 6th grade teacher who was beautiful and gave me chocolate for winning the spelling bee. Simple things that somehow stuck in my mind. Do you think they remember?


I usually remember students whose joy and unhappiness tend to be apparent. I know many of my students will remember me simply because I am probably one or two of the only Asian teachers they've ever had and I am usually noted for my great rapport w/them. But, beyond remembering me, I hope was able to open their minds to new ideas or at the very least be tolerant of people who are different.

It is unfortunate that it is easier to recall the mean spirited people who hurt others as well as myself than it is someone who was kind and understanding, The evil men do lives after them, the good is often interred with their bones. - William Shakespeare

Yet, I think in the end we tend to hold on the memories of people who have made a positive rather than negative impact in our lives.
Ah, this discussion has made me think of Louise, she was my teacher, my mentor, my friend,
Sparkly dancing eyes, I was her special one...ah yes, I say that, and ask anyone of her students...and they would tell you that THEY were her special one...that is just how she was....she was my meditation instructor....who talk me to sit tall like a queen on a horse...she listened to my daughter with rapt attention, when she had little time...for you see my daughter needed her ear....she was having a breakdown and louise said, "bye a keyboard" for music is your soul my dear"
and the year we were graduating...my graduating class at naropa....louise got cancer....how dare she we said...she needs to watch us graduate....her special ones...we had spent ten glorious weeks with her at maitri....a meditation retreat required by the freshman students...that had been what, two years before...she could not leave us...
she had basic attendants around her at her home...and held teas for her students...i was one of the last to see her...she whispered in my year..why don't you take my job...then she giggled and said..oh yes...you want to move away....go to the ocean...
I wrote her a poem..which was read to her days before she died...it was published in the naropa paper that was dedicted to her...yes she was very special and I loved her as she loved me...and she was one of the many inspirational people in my life...and those who are still around....well you betcha...i let them know....always...how much they mean to me....

To Louise
An Angel
she sits in regal majesty
dignified
loving
gentle
Eyes dance, sparkling in the knowing,
knowing that the end comes
A peace
settles over the hush of silence
no words spoken
no words needed
just the quiet knowing that
all is well
all is
I saw my friend today
she smiled
a serenity
oozing from the depths of her soul
she saw
my fear
she smiled
the fear departed
she saw my tears
she cried
the tears vanished
Ah, my friend
too soon
we leave
so little time we have
here
the earth moves around us
time lingers on
yet
in our busyness let's
pause...reflect...love
be
simply be
I love you Louise.......Thalia


©2009
beautiful poem Thally

though I have never seen a teacher sit in regal majesty.
Those days of professional decorum have long passed for teachers. too bad.

Maybe I should try to enact it in my class on Monday.
I know exactly what my kids would respond:

"Are you all right Ms. Evasco?
"
(signaling each other w/their eyes- She's in one of her crazy moods today. lol)

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