TBD on Ning

Political Correctness

There has been so much railing about this subject that I think we all need some training in the matter. Can anyone tell me where on the PC scale thefollowing would perch?

CHANGING A LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
cid:1.2716818778@web31801.mail.mud.yahoo.com

Charismatic : Only 1
Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal : 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians : None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None - Candles only.

Baptists : At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons : 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians :
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists : Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb.. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene : 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans : None
Lutherans don't believe in change..
Amish :
What's a light bulb?

Or this one
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America :

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referrred to as
'HILLBILLIES.'

You must now refer to them as

APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .

And furthermore

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
' BREASTED AMERICAN. '

2. She is not 'EASY' - She is

'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE..'

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a

'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY..'

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a

'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes

' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a

' LOW COST PROVIDER..'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is

' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'
(Loved this one!)

6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's
'TROUSER CLEAVAGE..'
 
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