lookin for the next best thing ...

[frenchy]

i can't help but think this is all just a metaphor for love .. sometimes we just give up and we settle .. anybody here think they've settled ?? 

I worked hard, but not for the money
Did my best to please 
I used to think it was funny 
'Til I realized it was just a tease

Don Quixote had his windmills 
Ponce de Leon took his cruise
Took Sinbad seven voyages 
To see that it was all a ruse

(That's why I'm) Looking for the next best thing 
Looking for the next best thing 
I appreciate the best 
But I'm settling for less 
'Cause I'm looking for the next best thing

Looking for the next best thing

All alone on the road to perfection 
At the inspection booth they tried to discourage me 
You can believe what you want--that'll never change it 
You'll have to come around eventually

(And you'll be) Looking for the next best thing 
Looking for the next best thing 
I appreciate the best 
But I'm settling for less
'Cause I'm looking for the next best thing

Looking for the next best thing 
I'm looking for the next best thing

[frenchy]

or maybe this is all you get .. someone to lay down beside you ?? 

[crestofwaves]

Here's when it works:

 

[crestofwaves]

And this is what a good mate does.  So what the hell else do we want?  Well, I know what we want, but that's so ethereal.  Now I take back everything negative thing I said.  A mate is someone who is THERE, who is kind, who is courteous, who shares interests.  I don't think having someone like that is " settling."  That's what it's all about.

 

...And now I can rest for a while... she sings.  Yes.

[Mickchick]

I think I've been there done that with regard to both those, Frenchy.  I was a slow learner - took me a long time to realize that it's not only okay to be alone, a lot of the time it's better to be alone than to settle or to be with someone just so you have someone to lay down next to you.  I've also been lucky, though, and I've had that love that just fits you like a glove, that's feels so good, so smooth, so seamless, where everything is just ... right.  It didn't come easy, it didn't come quick, because my late husband had issues from being abandoned as a child and put in an orphanage for years and because (unbeknownst to me), he had been told by his doctor that he was going to die young (he had chronic active Hepatitis B), and he was afraid to get too close to anyone or let anyone get too close to him, but once he did ... it was great. 

After he died, I fell into that hole again - I wanted to have what we had and I tried like hell to fit a square peg into a round hole for a long time.  That's when I finally learned the lesson - being alone ain't bad; being with someone who makes you feel alone or, worse yet, makes you wish to god you WERE alone, is worse.  Once I learned that lesson, took it to heart, and made a good life for myself, where I am happy and content by myself, I met the guy I'm seeing now, and ... by god, it feels like the first time again.  Time will tell.

[blithe spirit]

I love Don Henley's version

Searching for a Heart

Written by Warren Zevon 199

 Darkness in the morning

Shadows on the land

Certain individuals

Aren't sticking with the plan

 

And I'm searching for a heart

Searching everyone

They say love conquers all

You can't start it like a car

You can't stop it with a gun

 

Leaving in the evening

Traveling at night

Staying inconspicuous

I'm staying out of sight

 

And I'm searching for a heart

Searching everyone

They say love conquers all

You can't start it like a car

You can't stop it with a gun

 

They tell me love requires a little standing in line

And I've been waiting for you, lover, for a long, long time

I've been pacing the floor

I've been watching the door

Meanwhile I'll keep searching for a heart

 

Searching high and low for you

Trying to track you down

Certain individuals

Have finally come around

 

And I'm searching for a heart

Searching everyone

They say love conquers all

You can't start it like a car

You can't stop it with a gun

 

They tell me love requires a little standing in line

And I've been waiting for you, lover, for a long, long time

I've been pacing the floor I've been watching the door

Meanwhile I'll keep searching for a heart

Searching everyone

They say love conquers all

You can't start it like a car

You can't stop it with a gun

[blithe spirit]

Love conquers all

You can't start it like a car

You can't stop it with a gun

No settling...

[crestofwaves]

I think the soul mate thing happens only for some, so in a sense, most settle for good enough which can make for a pretty good life. And the person has to be the best person, etc.  But, I know for me, I don't think that place inside will ever be completely happy forever.  But I can be content, so I guess that's the next best thing.  I can't help but think the fault is within me---restless, always restless.

 

[frenchy]

sometimes we can't help it if we're restless cresty .. don't ask me why .. i just know that thats how it sometimes is ..

[crestofwaves]

Boyhowdy!

[Lifesighs]

I don't think I would ever find anyone to come close to my current guy, he's something really special when I was first married I told people I felt like I was living in a John Wayne or Walter Matheau movie, he's smart, he's fun, he encourages me to do what I don't think is possible for me and he's really much kinder than I could ever be. 

If I lose him I'll be content to go it alone.  In the garage with his grandson, always working and having fun.

[Mickchick]

That's wonderful, lifesighs!  I'm glad that you found someone that you feel that way about!

[Lifesighs]

Yeah Mickchick, the first half of my life with men was the pits, the second half more than made up for all the bad times. The last 23 years have been great, I met my husband 23 years ago we married over 20 years ago.