In the weakness of being human, Today is in reality, just another day...However on this day I am feeling my humanity perhaps a little more than I would like to. I came to TBD when it was at the other sight, in all of my ignorance I treated people as I have long fought to be treated, with love, kindness, compassion and care. I also found my way to sharing some of my life and alot of my own struggles with grave health issues and such. When I was taken ill in an even greater way and put on home care and morphine, I was viciously attacked on the front pages of TBD by a small group of fellow human beings. I knew nothing of this until a month or so after I had been weaned off the morphine and was able to once again use my PC.
Then I was able to read all of the vicious lies that had been allowed to be printed not only of me but of my dear sisters and family as well. I admit that in my humanity I was shocked as much of these lies were being posted by my first friend on TBD and I loved her as a sister. Perhaps she has done to me as she claims her own sisters have done to her, for which I have much compassion, being that my sisters are so very good to me. I care about her and for her still and I always will.
Then yesterday I was alerted that I am once again under attack on the front page of Ning on Q&A, Now this is hurtful, if that is the intent, your mission is accomplished, I am human, I feel and bleed as another person would. Being attacked publicly is a hurtful thing to do to any person. To wish someone dead is, again hurtful. To accuse a person that you once befriended a liar and a fake, yes that is hurtful. Three of my friends on Ning separately notified me of this, until this morning I did not even belong to Q&A.
I would like to share that I have come back to TBD and to people that I care about and love, people that I believe care about me. When I was on morphine, TBD members contacted my niece in Vermont and my son in North Carolina. Since I have been able to sit up and get around some again I have been visited by two TBD members in person in my home. One from Calf. and the other from Maine. Still yet this is not enough. I have visited by phone with several TBD members.
Yes this is just another day, a sad one for me, admittedly. I pray that this will be enough for those who cannot find peace within themselves. I pray that they will not ever do this to another TBD member, because it hurts, being human and all. I am thankful that this is not being done to you, or to someone that you love. I will be on this sight until I am too ill or dead and I would like it to be peaceful. I know of not one thing I have ever done that has caused harm or hurt to anyone of you. I wish that you did not feel that your joy in a day was to hurt me either. However there is nothing I can do but to accept that this is who a very small group of you are and for your own reasons I have been chosen as your whipping post. For this I can say I am glad, because so long as it is me, it is not Pru, or any other person who has suffered in this lifetime. God forbid.
So Mark and those who read in this group. Yes today is just another day, and a sad day for me, because then again, strong as I am, I am only human. Thank you for the place to express and so much for guidelines for online communities, blessings, T
Is it that I live that has you troubled,
that Great Spirit has not come for me,
That I wish you peace and love and gentle kindness.
Is it that I live that has you troubled,
That I have security and peace in the will of my Father
who by the way is my creator,
Is it that I live that has you troubled,
that I live with spirit strong
my body yes it troubles me, but I live beyond
That I live, it troubles you and yet I know not why
I offer peace, kindness, trust
you offer yet your lies
That I live it troubles you, and yet you are aware
that fate itself will come to all
whether here or there
Is it that I live that has you troubled
That my life you cannot hide
You know the truth, He cares for me , He walks right by my side
That I live, it troubles you, your peace you cannot find
I am a simple entity
I leave your hate behind.
I wrote these words in poem because it would seem that my life has troubled the hearts of a few fellow human beings. So sad it is to me that human kind cannot enjoy their lives and allow mine to be in the will and hands of Great spirit who gave me life. Your lives do not trouble me, in fact I am blessed to share the sky, earth and waters of this beautiful world with you. I cannot imagine desiring the end to someones life be it human, spiritual or otherwise. Yet I accept our great humanity, in it's weakness', failures and need for growth and change. I have nothing but love for you all, even those who cannot find peace with themselves to allow me space to live and to transition from this life into the next. Blessings to all, those who know me and to those who never will. Amen, I am at peace.
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