The Lump

[caseyjo]

Last night I actually felt the lump .....It was about 4:00 in the morning & it's not all that small either.....It felt about pea sized, maybe bigger. After the extra mamogram & ultra sound I had Thursday they said I needed a biopsy..They dont explain a thing & handed me my walking papers till I go back for the exam....I didnt walk of course..nosy me wants to know if the exam will be like asperating a cist which I had done before...The nurse said no....This is a solid mass.

Last night I looked it up of course, being the nosy person I am.

One article said  liquid mass...most likey not Cancer, solid mass, most likely Cancer.

This morning my stomach is wheezy, queasy, & I feel the fear setting in.

I'm not sure where this is leading except I suppose I needed to get it out.

I am not expecting very many people to respond as I feel many people are attempting to cold shoulder me out of TBD, but I'm taking a chance maybe I am wrong about that & people do care enough to wish me well...I'm being a big baby I know & some may think "Why should we care?"....

Thats a good question.....I'm not sure except I hope humanity is stronger than hate.

[P.A.]

I am sorry to hear this caseyjo. I don't want to say much because my experiences in this area have not been good at all.

[realteal]

Will join DD in praying for you, casey jo. Here for you. Keep us posted.

[Goldilocks46]

I'm sorry you have to go through this, caseyjo.

Know that your friends do care.

I am praying for your good health and peace of mind.

[TeeBubbaDee]

I know it's tough to keep a positive outlook caseyjo. But it's the best medicine possible right now.

PS. And don't let my experiences that I related in the PM spook you. Everybody is different.

[CraigD]

If the Great Mystery brings you to it, you will be brought thru it! Strong people survive, with positive spirits......;) 

[Aggie]

I will put you on my prayer list.

[caseyjo]

Thanks everyone...I am hangning onto your every words because at this time when I need him the most the BF is getting so smashed on drugs he is mentally abusing me, my throat hurts from yelling at him to leave me alone. he just wont quit......I need him to drive me to my Dr.'s appointments or I would go downtown Sanford to the boarding house & rent a room with a ugly shower down the hall...It is where I lived for a while when I first came to Sanford...started at the mission & worked my way up till I made a pretty nice life..I would go back, but I need those rides...It's a real possibliity I may have to do it anyway, & this is my home.

[CraigD]

How close are  boyfriend and badfriend when it comes to help?  A Man friend would never leave someone's side in an emergency.  Just sayin....drugs don't trump love!.....:(

[caseyjo]

I'm afraid it is no longer a love story, but a convenience story...The convenience is small compared to what I have to put up with, but I am between a rock & a hard place.....It sucks.

[Scooter]

Keep your chin up. They found a mass in my lung 2 years ago. I did a PET scan to check if it was "HOT" which would denote cancer. It was HOT. a 3.9 by their scale with a 4 being "Crack his chest and remove the mass" stuff. I went in for a needle Biopsy and even though my right lung collapsed after the biopsy, it turned out that this HOT mass was in fact, Benign.

Even if it is, it's early and you will be fine.

[caseyjo]

Thanks scooter. Thank goodness you are alright..What a horrible scare for you....I do believe I will be fine even if I do have to go through Chemo again..I had ovarian Cancer in 2004..stage 2-C...My Dad's wife had breast cancer & she had radiation & had to take some pills which made her skin sensitive for a year or two I think. 

I am kind of figuring I will have to go through something like that, but hey..I still have a chance this thing is benign....I am hopeful....Thanks so much for your kind words.....I remember you from a post about a month ago, but I cant remember what it was about.

[CWO3ROBBIE]

Casyjo. You are in my thoughts and I am wishing the best for you. I have know others who had biops that turned out benign.  Stay on tbd and your friends will do what we can.