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Comment by ozzieowl on July 5, 2012 at 4:22am

Comment by ozzieowl on July 5, 2012 at 12:23am

Very good and such a giggle, thanks Aggie!

Comment by Aggie on July 4, 2012 at 11:12am

Comment by Aggie on July 4, 2012 at 7:22am

Comment by Aggie on July 4, 2012 at 7:13am

Senior Motel Moment

Last week, she checked into a motel on her 65th birthday and she was a bit lonely. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages."

She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony - a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a silver dollar off his well-oiled bum.... She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know.
I'll give him a call.

"Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you?
Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy!
Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in, "Hi, I hear you give a great massage. I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I'm ready!! Now how does that sound?"

He said,
"That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."

Comment by ozzieowl on July 4, 2012 at 6:47am

Young Beverly and Gus....

Comment by Aggie on July 4, 2012 at 6:28am

Beverly is 90 years old. She's played golf every day since her retirement 25 years ago. One day she arrives home looking sad.

"That's it," she tells her husband, Gus, "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I can't see where it went."

Her husband makes her a cup of tea, and says, "Why don't you take me with you and give it one more try."

"That's no good" sighs Beverly , "you're a hundred and three. You can't help."

"I may be a hundred and three", says Gus, "but my eyesight is perfect."

So the next day Beverly heads off to the golf course with her Gus. She tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway.

She turns to Gus and says, "Did you see the ball?"

"Of course I did!" replied Gus, "I have perfect eyesight".

"Where did it go?" says Beverly .

"I don't remember."

Comment by ozzieowl on June 27, 2012 at 7:57pm

I reckon you could have a bet on that dear metub4 - lol !

Comment by metub4 on June 27, 2012 at 9:57am

bet that will teach him Oz

Likely will not do that again......

Comment by ozzieowl on June 27, 2012 at 7:36am

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large,
Trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and
gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man, and then my dog bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?"

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