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The Place to crack up! Laughing is allowed 24/7!
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Sharing The Joy Of All Animals 91 Replies
Started by ozzieowl. Last reply by Aggie on Saturday.
Blondes, Aggies, Pollocks, Morons, Little Patsy, Lena and Ole 370 Replies
Started by EddieDingo. Last reply by Aggie Apr 22.
Child Chatter 54 Replies
Started by ozzieowl. Last reply by Aggie Feb 14.
Comment Wall
Comment
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Comment by ozzieowl on July 12, 2012 at 10:42pm
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Even more Blonde Jokes,
and these are good I know -
coz I'm blonde too......
A friend told the blonde, "Christmas is on a Friday this year...."
The blonde then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
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Two blondes find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked, "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says, "We'll lie and say we only found two."
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A blond is in the bathroom and her husband shouts, "Did you find the shampoo?"
She says, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do...it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."
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A blonde goes to the vet with her goldfish.
"I think it's got epilepsy," she tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me."
The blonde says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet!"
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A blonde spies a letter lying on her doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND"
She spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
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A blonde's dog goes missing and she is frantic.
Her husband says, "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"
She does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" her husband asks.
"Here boy!" she replies.
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A blond is in jail. A guard looks in her cell and sees her hanging by her feet.
"What the heck you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blond replies.
"It should be around your neck!" says the Guard.
"I know," she replies, "but I couldn't breathe."
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(Now this one actually makes sense...lol)
An Italian tourist asks a blonde, "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blonde replies, "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
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Hullo and welcome Doug62,
I did click on your link and it could
be an interesting concept, but probably
only oldies like me would appreciate it, lol!
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The Grandmother of Blonde Jokes....
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Comment by Doug62 on July 12, 2012 at 7:18pm
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Comment by Aggie on July 12, 2012 at 6:42pm
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Comment by metub4 on July 12, 2012 at 2:41pm
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They are all tremendous - a real good laugh,
I swear I won't be able to have my B.P. taken
ever again without a `suppressed' giggle !
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I did not know Texas had a school of pubic affairs.
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One has to admit that as a second language, English is hard to grasp. Here are some examples from signs around the world:
Cocktail lounge , Norway :
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.Doctors office, Rome :
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.Dry cleaners, Bangkok :
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTSIn a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi :
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES .Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO:SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.Hotel , Yugoslavia :
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.Hotel , Japan :
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.A sign posted in Germany 's Black Forest :
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand :
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.A laundry in Rome :
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
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