Keep Laughing!

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Comment by Aggie on September 17, 2012 at 7:53pm

Comment by ozzieowl on August 29, 2012 at 7:25pm

TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, "GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.' THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, 'YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!' 'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?' 'WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER.' HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.' 'A WITCH ??. . WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?' 'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW..... TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER! '

 

 LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Comment by ozzieowl on August 29, 2012 at 7:24pm

ummm....there's all kinds of vibrators out there,

why, I have a washing machine that really gets a swivel going,

and a vacuum that can be straddled - it sucks too !!!!!  

LMAO - you did ask Aggie.

Comment by Aggie on August 28, 2012 at 7:32pm

Do you think the guy that invented the vibrator heard voices saying, 'If you build it they will come'?

Comment by metub4 on August 25, 2012 at 6:07am

Comment by ozzieowl on August 24, 2012 at 9:10pm

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on Little Mona, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Mona," replied the teacher. She then called on Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny... Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, "Beautiful, just f*%@# beautiful!"

Comment by ozzieowl on August 24, 2012 at 9:09pm

He says;

Met an older woman at a bar last night. She wasn't bad for 57, we drank and flirted a bit, then she asked if I'd ever had a mother and daughter combo. I said no. We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky night. I went back to her place.She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs: "Mum, you still awake?"

Comment by metub4 on August 22, 2012 at 6:55pm

Comment by Aggie on August 21, 2012 at 8:51pm

Comment by Aggie on August 8, 2012 at 11:38pm

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams"

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