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Comment by Aggie on October 4, 2012 at 7:09pm

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs". Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them.

A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted.

After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship."

In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage." Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please! Forward this warning to every male you know.

If you fall victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men.

For the support group nearest you, just look up “Golf Courses” in the phone book.

Comment by Aggie on October 4, 2012 at 10:55am

Aggie tax shelter

Comment by ozzieowl on October 2, 2012 at 8:53pm

No Sex Tonight 


I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. 

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. 

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” 

I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!” 

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear… 
“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me 
to satisfy your physical needs as a man”. 
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?” 

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. 

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. 
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. 
She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. 
Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. 
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey”. 
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. 
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all 
dear, let’s go to the cashier”. 

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel 
like it”. 

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled 
"WHAT?”. 

I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.” 
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”. 

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either.

Comment by ozzieowl on October 2, 2012 at 8:46pm

Comment by metub4 on October 2, 2012 at 9:33am

Cowboy Boots
A lady went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen.

The woman asked the cowboy if it's true what they say about men with big feet are well endowed.

The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady. Why don't you come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?"

The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him.

The next morning she handed him a \\$100 bill.

Blushing, he said, "Well, thankee, ma'am. Ah'm real flattered. Ain't nobody ever paid me fer mah services before."

"Don't be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit."  

 

Comment by metub4 on October 2, 2012 at 9:26am

Seven Funny Thoughts With Attitude

1. Do you ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards.
2. It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten.
   They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
3. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea... does that mean that one in five enjoys it?
4. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
5. Why do croutons come in airtight packages?  Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
6. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
7. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Comment by ozzieowl on September 27, 2012 at 8:21pm

Comment by ozzieowl on September 27, 2012 at 8:15pm

Comment by ozzieowl on September 27, 2012 at 8:13pm

They are all very funny - it makes my day :-)))))))

Comment by Aggie on September 27, 2012 at 7:50pm

‎10 Things That Sound Dirty On Halloween, But Aren't... ~♥~

1. So...What'd you get in the sack?

2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!


3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!

4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!

5. I got the best piece from that house.

6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!

7. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling....

8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!

9. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.

10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn't get my mouth around it!

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