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Comment by Aggie on December 6, 2012 at 6:44pm

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, an American, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, an African, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist, a Christian, and an atheist went to a night Club. The bouncer said, "Sorry, I can't let you in without a Thai."

Comment by metub4 on December 5, 2012 at 5:19pm

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

Comment by Aggie on December 5, 2012 at 4:36pm

Comment by Aggie on December 4, 2012 at 9:22pm

Medical Examination..........

While examining his female patient, the doctor tells her: "Your heart, lungs, pulse & BP are fine. Now let me see that little thing which gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble."

The lady started taking off her panties.....

Doctor, stopping her: "No! No! Please put on your clothes. . . . Just show me your tongue." ;)

Comment by metub4 on December 1, 2012 at 5:58am

Comment by Trish on December 1, 2012 at 4:48am

Comment by Trish on November 26, 2012 at 5:45am

Comment by ozzieowl on November 26, 2012 at 2:53am

Comment by metub4 on November 25, 2012 at 11:35am

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

Drink 'till she's cute, but stop before the wedding

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol

I intend to live forever - so far, so good

I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!

Comment by Trish on November 25, 2012 at 10:17am

One Liners

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!

If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
    
You're never too old to learn something stupid.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

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