Started by EddieDingo. Last reply by Aggie on Tuesday.
Started by EddieDingo. Last reply by Aggie on Sunday.
Started by ozzieowl. Last reply by Aggie Sep 18.
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Clap, clap, clap, very good Aggie,
I just wish Cletus hadn't been in such a big rush though....
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob 's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old tractor.
Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.
Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.
Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the world're ya doing, Billy Bob ?"
"Good grief, Cletus, ya scared the bejeebers out of me," says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob.
"But me'n the wife been havin trouble lately in the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."
(Now don't make me come 'splain this to y'all! Jest read the last line again, slowly...)
Dear Friend:
Just a line to say I'm living ...
That I'm not among the dead,
Though I'm getting more forgetful
And mixed up in the head.
I got used to my arthritis,
To my dentures I'm resigned,
I can manage my bifocals,
But Lord ... how I miss my mind!!!
Sometimes I can't remember
When I stand at the foot of the stairs,
If I must go up for something ...
Or if I've just come down from there.
I stand before the fridge at times,
My poor mind filled with doubt,
Have I come to put food away,
Or come to take some out?
There are times when it is dark out,
And with my nightcap on my head,
I don't know if I'm retiring ...
Or just getting out of bed.
So if it's my turn to write you,
There's no need for getting sore,
I may think that I have written
And don't want to be a bore.
I do know that I miss you
And wish that you were near.
And now it's nearly mail time
So I must say good bye, my dear.
Now I'm standing beside the mail box
With a face so very red,
Instead of mailing you my letter ...
I have opened it instead!!!
Author Unknown
Lol Larry, I tend to think what's happenin'
is that our minds are doing an automatic defrag
which in turn clears more space so that we can
continue mind boggling along.....lol!
The funniest part of this is that wee, too, are pushing these ages. I was born 10 months before the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. My memory isn't nearly like it used to be because I have been diagnosed with chronic CRS (Can't Remember Shit).
I understand, lol!
Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things.
One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down."
The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!"
The third lady smiles smugly. "Well, my memory's just as good as it's always been, knock on wood."
She raps on the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?"
Sooo very good to see Christian the Lion once more -
what a fantastic demonstration of an animal's memory
and deep emotion of love.
If this doesn't stun you, I can't imagine what will.
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