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Comment by Aggie on May 5, 2013 at 7:52pm

I would like to share a personal experience with some of my closest friends about drinking and driving.

As we all well know, each of us may have had a close call or two with the authorities on our way home from an occasional social session over the years.

Last night I was out for an evening with my husband and had a couple of cocktails and some rather nice red wine. Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before - we took a cab home.

Sure enough, while traveling home we passed a police DUI check point, but since it was a cab, they waved it past.

We arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise; as I have never driven a cab before, and I am not sure where I got it or what to do with it now that it's in my garage.

Comment by metub4 on May 5, 2013 at 11:12am

NEW MONITOR CLEANER

cleanscreen.swf

Comment by ozzieowl on May 2, 2013 at 5:40pm

The body builder takes off his shirt
and the blonde says,
"What a Great chest you have!'

@
He tells her,
'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby.'

He takes off his pants and the blonde says,'
"What massive calves you have!'



The body builder tells her,
'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby.'

He then removes his underwear and
the blonde goes running out of the
apartment screaming in fear.

The body builder puts his clothes
back on and chases after her.
He catches up to her and asks why
she ran out of the apartment like that.

The blonde replies,
'I was afraid to be around all that dynamite
after I saw how short the fuse was!'

Comment by Aggie on May 1, 2013 at 5:52pm

Elk Hunting

Bubba and Jake chartered a plane with a pilot to drop them off in the wilds of Alaska for a week of elk hunting, just the same as they did the year before.

When the pilot returned with the plane, Bubba exclaimed joyfully to the pilot, "We had a great hunting trip! We bagged four elk!"

The pilot regretfully explained, "Unfortunately, our plane can only fly with the weight of two elk. You'll have to leave the other two behind."

Bubba and Jake were both infuriated and insistent. "We won't allow you to fly this plane out without all four elk," Jake demanded.

The eager-to-please pilot relented and the plane took off with the three of them and their four elk. About fifteen minutes into the flight, the engine started to sputter, and within seconds they were hurtling to the ground.

Wearily arising from the wreckage, Bubba looked at Jake and wheezed, "Do you have any idea where we are?"

Jake, quite pleased with himself, replied, "Yes! We're about a mile from where we crashed last year."

Comment by metub4 on May 1, 2013 at 10:12am

A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Dave to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. Dave thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again." David the milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits. I can just splash it on my eyes."

Comment by Aggie on April 30, 2013 at 6:48pm

Comment by ozzieowl on April 20, 2013 at 10:18pm

Oh, flipper, that is brilliant !!  LOL!

Comment by Aggie on April 19, 2013 at 7:51am

Comment by Aggie on April 18, 2013 at 10:46pm

Comment by ozzieowl on April 18, 2013 at 5:46pm

Good morning, I'd like to leave something here today,

that was posted in luvy1950's Discussion `Confusing pictures'

over at Kooner's Landing today, 

because it really did get me PMSL.....lol!

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