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The Place to crack up! Laughing is allowed 24/7!

Members: 193
Latest Activity: 15 hours ago

Started by EddieDingo. Last reply by Aggie 15 hours ago.

Started by ozzieowl. Last reply by Aggie Sep 18.

Started by ozzieowl. Last reply by Aggie Sep 17.

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Comment by Aggie on September 18, 2014 at 6:35pm: My brother was recently launched into the "real world" and shocked by the expenses that came with it. He was complaining about the high cost of auto insurance.

"If you got married," teased my dad, "the premium would be lower."

He smiled. "That would be like buying an airline just to get free peanuts."

Comment by Aggie on August 5, 2014 at 12:45am: Honest Lawyer

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel.

She began to interview young lawyers. "As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an honest lawyer?"

"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."

"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"

The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."

Comment by Aggie on August 4, 2014 at 9:41pm: I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

Comment by Aggie on July 21, 2014 at 5:35pm: Bubba went to Alabama on a football scholarship. He was a good running back, but a poor student. At graduation day, Bubba didn't have enough credits. But he was a great football star and the students held a rally and demanded the dean give him a diploma anyway. They were so insistent that the dean agreed if Bubba could answer one question correctly, he would give him a diploma.

The one question test was held in the auditorium and the students packed the place. It was standing room only. The dean was on the stage and told Bubba to come up. The dean had the diploma in his hand and said, "Bubba, if you can answer this question correctly I'll give you your diploma."

Bubba said he was ready and the dean asked him the question.
"Bubba," he said, "How much is three times seven?"

Bubba looked up at the ceiling and then down at his shoes, just pondering the question. The students
began chanting, "Graduate him anyway! Graduate him anyway!!

Then Bubba held up his hand and the auditorium became silent. Bubba said, "I think I know the answer. Three times seven is twenty-one.”

A hush fell over the auditorium and the Alabama students began another chant.

"Give him another chance! Give him another chance!"

Comment by Aggie on July 18, 2014 at 8:11pm: A man was washed up on a beach after a shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.

After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.

But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Nancy Pelosi. That evening, the man brought Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get those feelings again.

He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Nancy and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.

He said, "Take the dog for a walk"