Started by EddieDingo. Last reply by Aggie on Wednesday.
Started by ozzieowl. Last reply by Aggie Jan 14.
Started by EddieDingo. Last reply by Aggie Oct 17, 2024.
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A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist. "I do" replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone." The man below replies, "You must work in management." "I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?" "Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
Computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
When at an overnight at a hotel away from home. I took my computer down to the bar to do work on some financials and do some email.
I sat down at the bar and I asked the bartender, ‘What’s the Wi-Fi password?’
Bartender: 'You need to buy a drink first.'
Me: 'Okay, I’ll have a beer.'
Bartender: 'We have Molson’s Canadian on tap'
Me: 'Sure. How much is that?'
Bartender: '$8.00.'
Me: 'Here you are. OK, now what’s the Wi-Fi password?'
Bartender: ‘youneedtobuyadrinkfirst' - No spaces and all lowercase.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
Please don't say "Firecracker" it's offensive!
The correct term is "fire caucasian".
The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours.
The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.
So the king and the queen started out for their day of fishing. On the way, he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting. The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge storm."
The king replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him."
So the king continued on his way. However, in a short time, a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked. Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the meteorologist.
Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of a royal forecaster. The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that...it will rain."
So the king hired the donkey.
And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government. The practice is unbroken to this date.
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