CAN YOU CRY UNDER WATER?
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HOW IMPORTANT DOES A PERSON HAVE TO BE BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED ASSASSINATED INSTEAD OF JUST MURDERED?
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WHY DO YOU HAVE TO "PUT YOUR TWO CENTS IN".... BUT IT'S ONLY A "PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS"? WHERE'S THAT EXTRA PENNY GOING TO?
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ONCE YOU'RE IN HEAVEN, DO YOU GET STUCK WEARING THE CLOTHES YOU WERE BURIED IN FOR ETERNITY? (great question!!!!!!)
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WHY DOES A ROUND PIZZA COME IN A SQUARE BOX?
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WHAT DISEASE DID CURED HAM ACTUALLY HAVE?
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HOW IS IT THAT WE PUT MAN ON THE MOON BEFORE WE FIGURED OUT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO PUT WHEELS ON LUGGAGE?
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WHY IS IT THAT PEOPLE SAY THEY "SLEPT LIKE A BABY" WHEN BABIES WAKE UP LIKE EVERY TWO HOURS?
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IF A DEAF PERSON HAS TO GO TO COURT, IS IT STILL CALLED A HEARING?
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WHY ARE YOU IN A MOVIE, BUT YOU'RE ON TV?
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
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WHY DO DOCTORS LEAVE THE ROOM WHILE YOU CHANGE?
THEY'RE GOING TO SEE YOU NAKED ANYWAY.
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WHY IS "BRA" SINGULAR AND "PANTIES" PLURAL?
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WHY DO TOASTERS ALWAYS HAVE A SETTING THAT BURNS THE TOAST TO A HORRIBLE CRISP, WHICH NO DECENT HUMAN BEING WOULD EAT?
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IF JIMMY CRACKS CORN AND NO ONE CARES, WHY IS THERE A STUPID SONG ABOUT HIM?
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CAN A HEARSE CARRYING A CORPSE DRIVE IN THE CARPOOL LANE ?
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IF THE PROFESSOR ON GILLIGAN'S ISLAND can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
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WHY DOES GOOFY STAND ERECT WHILE PLUTO REMAINS ON ALL FOURS?
THEY'RE BOTH DOGS!
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IF CORN OIL IS MADE FROM CORN, AND VEGETABLE OIL IS MADE FROM VEGETABLES, WHAT IS BABY OIL MADE FROM?
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IF ELECTRICITY COMES FROM ELECTRONS, DOES MORALITY COME FROM MORONS?
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DO THE ALPHABET SONG AND TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR HAVE THE SAME TUNE?
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WHY DID YOU JUST TRY SINGING THE TWO SONGS ABOVE?
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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
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A day without sunshine is night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Support bacteria. It's the only culture some people have.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
and the best:
Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?'
The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so all mankind was made.'
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'
The mother answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'
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