TBD on Ning
Keep Laughing!
Information
The Place to crack up! Laughing is allowed 24/7!
Members: 193
Latest Activity: yesterday
Discussion Forum
Blondes, Aggies, Pollocks, Morons, Little Patsy, Lena and Ole 393 Replies
Started by EddieDingo. Last reply by Aggie yesterday.
Sharing The Joy Of All Animals 94 Replies
Started by ozzieowl. Last reply by Aggie on Friday.
Child Chatter 55 Replies
Started by ozzieowl. Last reply by Aggie Sep 17.
Comment Wall
Comment
-
Comment by Lowell Brandon on March 10, 2010 at 6:21pm
-
Stunt Driver
A car sped off the highway, went through the guardrail, rolled down a cliff, bounced off a tree and finally shuddered to a stop. A passing motorist, who had witnessed the entire accident, helped the miraculously unharmed driver out of the wreck. "Goodness, mister" he gasped, "Are you drunk?" "Of course!" said the man, brushing the dirt from his suit. "What the heck do you think I am? ...a stunt driver?"
"My parents are from Glasgow, which means they are incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child... Well, maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night"
Susan Murray
The price of Prozac doubled last year. When Prozac users were asked what they thought about the increase, they said, "Whatever..."
-
-
Here's another incident that happened on the ranch with dad's truck. I went down to the barn to do chores, and left a gate open along the way. When I finished the chores, I headed the truck back up the lane, not realizing that my sister has closed the barbed wire gate in the meantime. My eyesight isn't the greatest, and the truck plowed right through the whole gate, barbed wire and all, and drug the barbed wire all over the place. Man, what a job THAT was to fix!!
-
-
A Little "HOLY" Humor!
LOT'S WIFE; The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot 's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt , when little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy looked back once while she was driving,' he announced triumphantly, 'and she turned into a telephone pole!'
GOOD SAMARITAN
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan . She asked the class, 'If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?'
A thoughtful Little girl broke the hushed silence, 'I think I'd throw up.'
DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, 'Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?'
'No,' replied Johnny. 'How could he, with just two worms.'
HIGHER POWER
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, 'We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power . Can anybody tell me what it is?'
One child blurted out, 'Aces!'
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23 . She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, 'The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."
BEING THANKFUL
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, 'So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?'
The little boy replied, 'Thank God he's in bed!'
TIME TO PRAY
A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.
'Yes, Sir,' the boy replied.
'And, do you always say them in the morning too?' the pastor asked.
'No sir,' the boy replied. 'I ain't scared in the daytime.'
SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away..
'Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.' said his mother.
'I don't need to,' the boy replied..
'Of course, you do,' his mother insisted. 'We always say a prayer before eating at our house.'
'That's at our house,' Johnny explained. 'But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!'
-
-
Funny story about a former cat in our family. It's quite common for cats to be fascinated by bathtubs. My sis left some water in the bathtub. We had a cat that must have had poor eyesight, or who just wasn't paying attention. The cat jumped straight into the bathtub full of water, and hightailed it back out of the water faster than I've ever seen a cat exit out of bathtub!!! We had a very mad cat for awhile!! Just goes to prove the old adage: "Look before you leap!"
-
Comment by kc on March 8, 2010 at 4:46pm
-
Jokes about spring fever! Post your favorite!
Spring Fever
Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.
Much to their relief she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper."
Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said: "First Question: Which tire was flat?"
-
Comment by Doug Smith on March 7, 2010 at 7:41am
-
This one had me laughing harder than I've done in a long time:
Ole has a cow for sale and his friend Sven wants to buy it. Ole is going on about how wonderful a milk cow she is, but she has one unusual feature: when you pull on her udder, she passes gas. So Sven decides to check her out and when he starts to milk her, she lets out a particularly loud fart.
"So, tell me, Ole", he asks, "is she from North Dakota?"
"Why do you ask?", Ole replies.
Sven answers, "Because my wife does the same thing!"
-
Comment by Margie Arias on March 6, 2010 at 4:46pm
-
The Girls Getaway Trip...
Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect girls getaway trip -Shopping,
casinos, massages, facials.
Two days before the group is to leave Mary's husband puts his foot down and
tells her she isn't going.
Mary's friends are very upset that she can't go, but what can they do?
Two days later the three get to the hotel only to find Mary sitting in the
bar drinking a glass of wine.
"Wow, how long you been here and how did you talk your husband into letting
you go?"
"Well, I've been here since last night...........Yesterday evening I was
sitting on the couch and my husband came up behind me and put his hands over
my eyes and said 'Guess who'?" "I pulled his hands off to find all he was
wearing was his birthday suit.
He took my hand and lead me to our bedroom. The room was scented with
perfume, had two dozen candles and rose petals all over............
On the bed, he had handcuffs and ropes! He told me to tie and cuff him to
the bed, so I did. Then he said, "Now, you can do whatever you want."
"So, ... here I am."
-
-
Bar Scene
A little guy is sitting at the bar staring at his drink when a large, threateningly leering biker steps up next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig. "Well, watcha' gonna do about it?" he says menacingly, as the little guy bursts into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, " I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy. "I`m a complete failure. I was late to a meeting, and my Boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car stolen and I don't
have any insurance, I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the gardener and then my dog bit me. "So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. "I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in, and sit here watching the poison dissolve. Then a wise-ass like you shows up and drinks the whole thing!"
-
Comment by Goldilocks46 on March 6, 2010 at 9:36am
-
Hi to you, too, Kevin!
-
-
You are so right, Aggie. So here's a good one for you.
When we lived on the ranch, I was learning to drive by driving my dad's '49 or '50 Studebaker pickup all over the ranch. A number of spectacular incidents happened with with truck, but I'll just relate one here. We had a German renter living in our one-room cabin, and this was her last day there. The cabin had a chimney which was supported by a wooden platfom attatched the the carport. The renter was away from the cabin that day. I was just coming back from the barn when the pickup bumped that wooden support for the chimney. The chimney promptly collapsed, putting tons of soot all over the inside of the cabin. I decided that cowardice was the best route to go for self-preservation, so I went as far out in the field as I could. As luck would have it, the renter returned to find the cabin in shambles. I heard the most awful scream, "LOWELL!!!!!!" I'm STILL trying to figure out how she thought to scream MY name first!!
© 2025 Created by Aggie.
Powered by
You need to be a member of Keep Laughing! to add comments!