TBD on Ning
Keep Laughing!
Information
The Place to crack up! Laughing is allowed 24/7!
Members: 193
Latest Activity: on Tuesday
Discussion Forum
Blondes, Aggies, Pollocks, Morons, Little Patsy, Lena and Ole 393 Replies
Started by EddieDingo. Last reply by Aggie on Tuesday.
Sharing The Joy Of All Animals 94 Replies
Started by ozzieowl. Last reply by Aggie Sep 18.
Child Chatter 55 Replies
Started by ozzieowl. Last reply by Aggie Sep 17.
Comment Wall
Comment
-
Comment by Aggie on December 2, 2010 at 9:43pm
-
Two Irish men looking though a catalogue, Paddy says , Look at those gorgeous women, the prices are reasonable too' Mick agrees.
'I am ordering one of them right now' 3 weeks later, Paddy says 'Has your women turned up yet?' "No" said Mick "but it shouldn't be long now, her clothes arrived yesterday."
-
-
THE AUSTRALIAN APPROACH
A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job.
The manager asked 'Do you have any sales experience?'
The young man answered 'Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Dubbo.'
The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the job.
His first day was challenging and busy, but he got through it.
After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked, 'OK, so how many sales did you make today?'
The Aussie said 'One!'
The manager groaned and continued, 'Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day.
How much was the sale for?' '£124,237.64p.'
The manager choked and exclaimed £124,237.64!! What the hell did you sell him?'
'Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook and then I sold him a new fishing rod.'
'Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he would need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engine Power Cat.'
'Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to car sales and I sold him the 4 x4
The manager, incredulous, said, 'You mean to tell me...a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a 4x4?'
'No, no, no... he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his lady friend and I said...
'Well, since your weekend's buggered mate, you might as well go fishing.'
-
-
Never Lose Your Grandson !
A heart-warming story.
A small grandson got lost at the shopping mall..........
He approached a uniformed security guard and said, I've lost my grandpa!"
The guard asked, "What's his name?"
"Grandpa"
The guard smiled, then asked, "What's he like?"
The little tyke hesitated for a moment and then replied, "Jim Beam whiskey, and women with big boobs."
-
Comment by metub4 on December 1, 2010 at 3:52am
-
Like that one Aggie
-
-
-
-
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his
money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more
than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife,
"Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the
casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife." So he got his wife
to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the
money in the casket with him.
Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket; the wife was
sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the
ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the
wife said, "Wait just a minute!" She had a shoebox with her; she came over
with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the
casket down and rolled it away.
Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in
the casket.
"She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good Christian I can't lie," I promised
him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."
"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with
him?"
"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account
and I wrote him a check."
-
-
I hope you can find your turkey and share it with family and friends.
-
-
The Koala Bear
A koala bear was approached by a prostitute. Since he
had never been with one before, he was curious and
excited. They spent the night together in a hotel, and
he went down on her the next morning one last time
before departing.
As he was heading for the door, the prostitute yelled,
"Hey, what about my money?"
The koala turned, gave her a puzzled look and shrugged
his shoulders.
"Come here," she said and pulled a dictionary out of
her purse. She pointed to the word "prostitute" and
its definition: "Has sex and gets paid."
Finally understanding, the koala borrowed her
dictionary, turned to the word "koala" and showed her
the definition: "Eats bush and leaves."
-
-
-
A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....
It reads:
SISTERS OF ST FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES
He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought....
Soon he sees another sign which reads:
SISTERS OF ST FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES
Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:
SISTERS OF ST FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT
His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading :
SISTERS OF ST FRANCIS
He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you my son?"
He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business...."
"Very well, my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door."
He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup, answers the door. This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway."
He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him.
The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign :
GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER
© 2025 Created by Aggie.
Powered by
You need to be a member of Keep Laughing! to add comments!