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The Place to crack up! Laughing is allowed 24/7!

Members: 193
Latest Activity: yesterday

Started by EddieDingo. Last reply by Aggie yesterday.

Started by ozzieowl. Last reply by Aggie Sep 18.

Started by ozzieowl. Last reply by Aggie Sep 17.

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Comment by metub4 on June 29, 2011 at 2:17pm: By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere?" he pleaded. "Or just a bed - I don't care where."

"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager. "And, he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it would be worth it to you."

"No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it."

The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How did you sleep?" asked the manager. "Never better," the Marine replied.

The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time," said the Marine. "How did you manage that?" asked the manager.

"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."

Comment by metub4 on June 29, 2011 at 2:13pm: and they call that ....... WHAT?

Comment by Billy Montross on June 29, 2011 at 6:57am: very funny jokes--thanks i needed a good laugh

Comment by Aggie on June 28, 2011 at 10:59pm: A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?"

The trainer replied; “Use the ATM outside the gym!!!"

Comment by Aggie on June 26, 2011 at 12:09pm: Table of Excuses

To save time for this department and yourself, please give your excuse by number. The list below covers most situations.

1. That's the way we've always done it.

2. I didn't know you were in a hurry for it

3. That's not in my department.

4. No one told me to go ahead.

5. I'm waiting for an OK.

6. How did I know this was different?

7. That is his job, not mine.

8. Wait till the boss comes back and ask him.

9. I forgot.

10. I didn't think it was very important.

11. I'm so busy, that I just can't get around to it.

12. I thought I told you!

Comment by Aggie on June 26, 2011 at 12:04pm: A 5-year old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. While playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting furniture, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend?"

Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can set in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good.

The comedies make me laugh. I'm so happy with my TV as my boyfriend." Grandma turned on the TV and the picture was horrible. She started adjusting the knobs trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting on the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem. The little boy heard the doorbell ring so he hurried to open the door.

When he opened the door, there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, "Hello son is your grandma home?"

The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend."

Comment by Aggie on June 26, 2011 at 12:03pm: You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After being married for thirty years....a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her slowly...then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks..... "What does that mean?"

He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot."

She smiled happily and said...."Oh, that's so lovely. .... What about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

His eye is still swollen....but it will get better.............

Comment by metub4 on June 26, 2011 at 7:13am: Little Mikey is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Little Mikey to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Mikey didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, said, "Why? Mikey, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven."

Mikey thinks that's really neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Little Mikey's dad comes home from work a few hours early. Mikey runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!"

His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?"

"Uncle Bob is blowing up Mommy's balloons and she's screaming, 'Oh God, I'm coming'."