TBD on Ning
How about some puns???!!!
Holmes and Watson were discussing their most recent case. "So Holmes, the man died a natural death, stung by a fish.""Yellow Manta Ray, my dear Watson.
A piece of string walked into a bar...as he enters, he sees another couple of pieces of string being told, "We don't want your kind in here! Get out, and never darken our door again!"
He goes into a corner, disguises himself by looping one of his ends through and around on itself, pulls tight, then pulls the strands apart.
He walks up to the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. "Wait a minute... aren't you a piece of string?" came the booming voice from behind the bar. "No, I'm afraid not", he replied.
I do a lot of spreadsheets in the office so you can say I'm excelling at work.
Can Napoleon return to his place of birth? Of Corsican.
I really do have a photographic memory -- I just haven't developed it yet.
One of the advantages of nuclear war is that all men are cremated equal.
Why do archers shoot arrows? Could it be they are trying to get a point across?
I keep falling off my bike, but I just get right back on it and ride. I'm a firm believer in re-cycling.
I don't like hanging out at the pancake house, that place gives me the crepes.
Many folks have known about the plight of the spotted owl but never gave a hoot about it.
I tried to get a job at a casino but they didn't have a slot for me. I figured it was a bit of a gamble anyway.
I don't carrot all; lettuce turnip our noses at it.
If you say you have bad skin, I’d say that was a pore excuse.
A piece of string walked into a bar...as he enters, he sees another couple of pieces of string being told, "We don't want your kind in here! Get out, and never darken our door again!"
He goes into a corner, disguises himself by looping one of his ends through and around on itself, pulls tight, then pulls the strands apart.
He walks up to the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. "Wait a minute... aren't you a piece of string?" came the booming voice from behind the bar. "No, I'm afraid not", he replied.
I do a lot of spreadsheets in the office so you can say I'm excelling at work.
Can Napoleon return to his place of birth? Of Corsican.
I really do have a photographic memory -- I just haven't developed it yet.
One of the advantages of nuclear war is that all men are cremated equal.
Why do archers shoot arrows? Could it be they are trying to get a point across?
I keep falling off my bike, but I just get right back on it and ride. I'm a firm believer in re-cycling.
I don't like hanging out at the pancake house, that place gives me the crepes.
Many folks have known about the plight of the spotted owl but never gave a hoot about it.
I tried to get a job at a casino but they didn't have a slot for me. I figured it was a bit of a gamble anyway.
I don't carrot all; lettuce turnip our noses at it.
If you say you have bad skin, I’d say that was a pore excuse.
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Permalink Reply by Directionally Challenged on
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And another. One of my all-time favorites!!
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him ........ A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. -
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