Laughter is the best medicine

Comment

Comment by Aggie on November 24, 2009 at 6:45am

Good one Texascheyenne!

Comment by Texascheyenne on November 24, 2009 at 6:35am

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MICROWAVE A SPAGHETTI SQUASH WITHOUT PUTTING ENOUGH STEAM HOLES IN IT

Comment by Rishi on November 22, 2009 at 8:51am

If you want your wife to pay attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep...Coffee News On The Lighter Side

Comment by metub4 on November 21, 2009 at 5:58am

TURKEY RECIPE


Here is a turkey recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing -- imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.

8 - 15 lb. turkey

1 cup melted butter

1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good.)

1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT)

Salt/pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt, and pepper.

Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn.

Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.
Listen for the popping sounds.
When the turkey's ass blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room, it's done.

Comment by Merry on November 20, 2009 at 9:26pm

Comment by Mary Morris on November 20, 2009 at 4:01pm

How To Get Through Life

cid:7ab4cfd15b404d7e9345b639271ddbcb@brownies
Sleep as much as you can .....
cid:def94061bbbb47daa2b139609c160f5d@brownies
Read books that you enjoy...
cid:4c1e4c2bf76644858371b60a2d45c554@brownies
Play with simple things...
cid:e24bfe2c6ec044ad8f07bbc465559a5f@brownies
Do whatever you want --
Whenever you want...
cid:83e8052a651a44ce96fd74b07df77899@brownies
Look for affection when you need it...
cid:4db7754accf4430ea68ea6c238f00f2b@brownies
Get serious once in a while...
cid:369f3fd64ab04f99806d4bb808168a00@brownies
Forget about diets...
cid:fd44db3cf739465f8a44f01743df8e1e@brownies
Show some affection...
cid:6f4b903f27d34097bd6d4bfaaed19fdc@brownies
Get angry once in a while....
cid:5dc91b048a024957a2fab1a03c8f481a@brownies
Change your looks...
cid:17598548e2924438876a3eeb0c782be7@brownies
Above all, be happy,
Regardless of what
Your challenges may be...
cid:2b2912febd1646e5b014e79b72f32832@brownies
Have a great life!
cid:2217510041c14155b93fd4ad7a9cf4eb@brownies
May your troubles be less,
Your blessings more,
And may nothing but happiness
Come through your door.




No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
Version: 8.5.421 / Virus Database: 270.14.9/2426 - Release Date: 10/09/09 18:43:00

Comment by Rishi on November 19, 2009 at 9:25pm

Aggie you crack me up... good laughs

Comment by Aggie on November 19, 2009 at 9:16pm

A Round For The House
A drunk walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."

So, the bartender does just that, and hands the man the bill. The drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out into the street.

The very next day, the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill." The bartender figures that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice, so he gives him the benefit of the doubt. He pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself, and hands the drunk the bill.

Again, the drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender can't believe it. He picks the guy up, beats the living daylights out of him, then throws him out into the street.

The next day, the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says, "Bartender, buy every one in the house a drink and give me the bill."

In disgust, the bartender says, "What, no drink for me this time?" The drunk replies, "Nope! You get too violent when you drink."

Comment by Aggie on November 19, 2009 at 9:14pm

Girls Night Out
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

Comment by metub4 on November 19, 2009 at 4:45pm

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa , taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles along for the company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?'
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!'
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says,
'Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!
Moral of this story....
Don't mess with old farts .. Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• …
• 13
• 14
• 15
• 16
• 17
• Next ›
• Page