TBD on Ning

In a relationship we all know that trust is important.  Do you think it is better start off trusting someone new or is it better to make someone earn our trust? 

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I would love to start out trusting someone unless and until I discover that my trust is not warranted, and I do for people that I don't anticipate getting close to.  Having been badly, badly burned (spyware placed on my computer) by a former boyfriend, however, I have decided it's better to make someone that has the potential of getting close to me earn my trust... Like say, after a thorough background check!

I have always been one to trust you until you give me a reason not to. But like MC says....I have been very badly burned. So now, my position has reversed; I distrust you until you prove you can be trusted.
Sad.....isn't it?

I'm with Steve on this concept of trust...I'll trust you conditionally  until I see if you warrant unconditional  trust. 

I used to trust everyone and thought everyone was nice. But now am not so trusting, I hold everyone at arms length till I know they are trustworthy.

I think we've all known enough people at this point in life to be a little less than trusting out of the gate.  I know I am.  I have dealt with so much dishonesty with my ex that any guy would be suspect until I knew he was trustworthy.  It hardly seems right, but I know how I am from it all.  I know I'm capable of trusting someone, because I have a very close friend and I trust him completely, even with my deepest secrets. 

After two failed marriges I am not very trusting.Usually I just take things very slow.It is very hard to trust a new person after you have been cheated on and lied to by someone you loved with all your heart.Of course I will probably meet someone and give them my unconditional love.I am a complete romantic.I guess only time will tell. I hope everyone finds who or what will make them happy.

I agree with your sentiments Phil. Whether i'ts a significant other or a friend, I'd rather take the risk and trust than be alone.

Initially annie I accord trust and respect until the person demonstrates that they are not worthy of it. We don't wear signs that say we're  worthy of both traits.

Trust has to be earned.  I can be very cordial, but I'm not a trusting soul.  The burn scars run soul deep.  You really learn to keep your hand out of the fire after awhile. 

It is not entirely on point, but I think this poem applies somewhat.  We learn by the painful experiences of life - and in the case of some of us, trust comes very hard.  

Author: Veronica A. Shoffstall
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning 
And company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn...
With every goodbye you learn.




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