TBD on Ning

Several days ago I learned that a long-time acquaintance's wife of several decades and mother of his several children is leaving him, because she has, after lengthy introspection, concluded that she is a lesbian.

That's all the information I have.  There's no punchline.

What would you say to her?  Something sympathetic about her misspent youth, sleeping with the wrong sort of person?

What would you say to the kids?  Maybe it's better than an "ordinary" divorce, because at least mommy and daddy aren't fighting, but maybe it's just weird.

But most importantly to me: what to say to him?  Is there any bright side to this at all?

Tags: what would you say?

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Absolutely, give him Pru's number. Other than that, what goes on behind closed doors is nobody else's business unless they make it yours. Be there to listen and don't offer advice unless asked. And above all else, keep everything you hear confidential.
Danny, just make yourself open for your friends....And give Ms Farquar my number
If everyone could please PM me their number, that would probably streamline the next steps.
The poor woman must feel badly about all the time she wasted with the wrong sex. She probably needs support also. Give her Pru's number
I don't know anyone's numbers. I'm not even sure about my own.
I wondered why my but suddenly hurt about 22 hours ago.
No problem.

I'm sorry that your first husband is gay. That must have been awkward. I really can't imagine.

It might be some consolation to know that it's not that you/he aren't/isn't man/woman enough to attract your/his own spouse, it's that nobody of your/his gender is. You probably held his interest longer than any other woman possibly could.

If my wife ever leaves me, it won't be because she's no longer interested in men, just certain men...
And Suzan, If you ever change your "mind" you already have my number.
I'm not sorry about the gay part. It's the combination of gay and husband in a heterosexual marriage that evokes my sympathy.
This is all good advice, Danny. There is nothing easy to say in the case of divorce, whatever the circumstances, especially if they are both your friends.

I have found over the years that the best thing to do is to be quiet and listen, take no sides, rouse no rabble, and try to guide your conversations into positive directions. None of us ever truly know all that goes on in others' private lives, and unless they want us to know, that's usually a good thing. DIscretion is the better part of valor.
I hate it when people advise me to "rouse no rabble". It takes all the wind out of my sails.
Sorry, Larry. In that case, feel free to Carry On.




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