The Mourning Room

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

We have tragedies in our lives. We lose people, body parts, pets, things, our youth, our idéologies, our naiveté, our skin tone, and sometimes - bits of ourselves, that we must hunt for and retrieve /;->

Here is a place each of us can come to to grieve. It does not matter what you grieve, it is just good that you do so. We will support you here, and also in "Crying". Wherever you feel most comfortable. Weep away. Express your angst. Whatever it is, we are here for you. Listening with care, compassion and with recognition and empathy.

This is also a "room" for remembrance. And tributes. Post pictures, videos, poems, whatever you like, that helps you mourn and celebrate your loss. "Celebrate" you say ? Yes! Within every loss lies a celebration of further knowledge and understanding of the human condition. It is through suffering that we learn compassion, empathy, and the knowledge that will bring us eventually closer to the ideal of "as above - so below " until there is no longer an "in between". We will eventually achieve another plateau. Another dimension of "being'.

If we don't comment - it's not because we don't care. Sometimes, companionable silence is the best partner within the circle of shared experience. When we do comment, know it is with our heart's song in accord. This is a non denominational safe "room'. All women of faith are welcomed here, regardless of your persuasion. We all believe in something, even if it's nothing. Please feel free to express yourself.

[Coral]

{{{{{DIANA}}}}}! I can relate because I just lost one of my fur babies. Mandy (14) had liver cancer. We made the decision to end her suffering. She was put to sleep and buried in our back yard today. My kids (11 & 13) made me proud. They willingly and actively took part in giving her extra TLC during her last weeks and helped bury her. They're going to put together a memory book and want to make a grave marker.

MANDY
5/25/95 - 9/15/09
Our sweet, dainty princess who will forever be in our hearts

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

Oh my . (((((((((((((Coral)))))))))))))) - I am so deeply sorry for you loss. Fourteen years, Mandy was such a beauty! Having your children by your side so involved - I'm certain this was a great comfort to you. Needless to say, we all emphasize. It really does take time, one day at a time, to move forward after the death of one's treasured sweet pea. We are fortunate that we at least have the resources to end the suffering of our beloved animals when the time comes.

It is said by some that our animals visit us in our dream state to comfort us after they shed their corporeal bodies. I'm inclined to believe this, and perhaps because I'm predisposed to the idea, I have found that the spirits of my animals have come to visit - and it's been very comforting upon awaking. I've yet to dream Frankie dreaming me, (that I remember) but when I do - I'll let " y'all " know!

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

Your shrine is lovely Soul2u. I must scan a picture of our Frankie to include here too. We were just offered a rescue, and I declined to know the details because for us, it's just much too soon. Douglas and I seem to be of equal accord that we need to talk about our funny little fiasco punk rocker kitty and celebrate her life with us a while longer before we offer our devotion to another animal. And I've put my foot down, I'll not have a another indoor/outdoor cat whilst I have this house. Although the neighborhood is gorgeous - the road nearby is a two lane with considerable traffic - and I must say that I've felt a heavy load lift off my heart - not worrying all the time every time Frankie went outside. Gracie, her "sister" was attacked by two dogs here two years ago - and died in Douglas's arms whilst I was in Toronto on Sept. 12th. (Sept. 12th fro Gracie and Sept. 11th for Frankie - isn't that odd?!?) So the outdoor cat thing is just not a happy making idea.

What does everyone think? Do we need to get two cats if they are to be indoor cats so that they are less lonely? I know cats love to be outdoors. Sigh.

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

Everyone, thank you again so much with all my heart. One week this morning. Still so surprised at the sadness, I wonder, so many wounds - perhaps we don't bounce back as quickly anymore as we age? Off with my darling Cyndromeda for a nice luncheon, that will be cheering, to include the Farmer's Market. The comfort and advice has helped enormously.

Have a lovely Friday - it's the weekend any minute now!

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

Right. Last bit about mourning Frankie pea. I came home - after lovey middle eastern lunch with girlfriends @ Neomonde - food shopping, then our Farmers Market,. Nice. Happy making.

Open mail. Receive from Harris Teeter a package of Fancy Feast Appetizers for Cats. Oh! And a coupon! "For any loving purr". Look at portion. Perfect dinner size for my missy moo. Oh! And look! In a delicious broth too!

AGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

And since when do cats NEED APPETIZERS pray tell !?! "New moments to share with your cat"

Talk about rotten timing. Checks expiry. Best by June 2010. Goes off and hides it with the treats, food and cat nip. Blows nose.

Think I'll walk over to Whole Pooh and buy a big bottle of their 365 Pinot Grigio.

Sigh.

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

Hahahaha! Thks. LFF! Exactly! I'm mean - really - my shattered nerves ! It's quite funny actually. Cat appetizer. Pffft!

$1.25 ?!? Yikes that's outrageous! Out goes that coupon in the trash! I wouldn't insult a friend with such a thing! That's the price of a lovely can of 6 oz. #365 Tongol Tuna at Whole Foods! Packed in Spring Water!

Now that's a cat treat, never mind a happy human treat. *puts it on her list along with the wine and french bread stick /;-D

Oh. And just when IS cocktail and appetizer time for zee cat ?!? It's a mad mad dimension of continuous insanity, this world of ours.

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

I heart you deeply LynneAnne, your experience is very poignant and one that all of us who have looked after our aging and/or ill parents can appreciate. It is said that when our parents die, we lose our most important link to our past, and I have found this to be true.

Often in my work as a hospice volunteer, I have noticed that patients will brighten considerably a day or so - or sometimes just hours before they die. It's often a gift to those sitting vigil, and yet it can be deceiving, for it can convey a false hope. I'm glad that you had this time of clarity with your mother. It was a gift - and within it was a reminder of her dignity, which is part of her legacy to you. As time moves forward, the memories of the difficulties and the pain dissipates, and what is left will be joyful thoughts of remembrance and love.

Appreciation, is the hearts memory. As long as you carry her memory lovingly in your heart, she is forever your mother.

[Quilty]

I just go back the results of the Hepatic Panel my doc ran last week. I'm positive for Hepatitis C.

From research, factoring in the other levels that were high, it appears to be either auto-immune (yes, my body hates my guts -- so to speak), or a late-blooming leftover from the damage done by years of using Lortab (and the Tylenol in it).

I have no idea what this means in terms of Real Life, except that someone I know died from Hep C a couple of months ago. And I can't get in to see my doc until the 24th.

Anyone medical have information I can use?

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

Hi Quilty,
I wish I could contribute something intelligent and informative to your post, but I've not had any experience with Hep C - other than to say I have a friend in Toronto who has lived with the condition for years. Are there any RN's in our group who would be kind enough to share some intell?

We are all so fragile. please don't despair Quilty, there have to be answers, and there have been so many rapid advancements - keep digging for info. and pestering your doctors for help and answers.

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

Our wee Frankie Fiasco (pea) - still missing her so.

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

Thks sweetie, and yet again (((hugberts))) to you too in deep sympathy - the first few weeks are so hard after one's "fuzz bot" (as Suuse likes to call her kitties) "graduates" to kitty heaven!

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

I so heart all of you who have lost your precious furry bundle of love. It's certainly takes time to get over, TSD and I are still no where near ready to take on another animal.

*In case any new members are lurking - although we are mourning our pets here, this "venue" is also a place to mourn anything you please, from a failed relationship to the loss of a loved one to a new wrinkle in time or two.*