TBD on Ning
A SIGN OF THE TIMES?????
I am getting older! What an insight. As I travel around the US, I realize that I am not the only one. The signs are everywhere. AARP discounts, Walkers for sale in supermarkets, Giant sized TVs, more little yippy dogs wearing clothes, psychedeiic canes, signs seen in public restrooms that you used to see only in rest homes. like this one.
And I make the following observations.
Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere.
Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
You get winded playing chess.
Your children begin to look middle aged.
You're still chasing women but can't remember why.
A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
You look forward to a dull evening.
Your favorite part of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today..."
You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic ones.
You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
Your knees buckle, but your belt won't.
You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.
After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a second coat.
Dialing long distance wears you out.
You just can't stand people who are intolerant.
The best part of your day is over when your alarm clock goes off.
You burn the midnight oil until 9 pm.
Your back goes out more often than you do.
A fortune teller offers to read your face.
Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by.
The little grey haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.
You sink your teeth into a steak -- and they stay there.
And I make the following observations.
Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere.
Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
You get winded playing chess.
Your children begin to look middle aged.
You're still chasing women but can't remember why.
A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
You look forward to a dull evening.
Your favorite part of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today..."
You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic ones.
You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
Your knees buckle, but your belt won't.
You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.
After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a second coat.
Dialing long distance wears you out.
You just can't stand people who are intolerant.
The best part of your day is over when your alarm clock goes off.
You burn the midnight oil until 9 pm.
Your back goes out more often than you do.
A fortune teller offers to read your face.
Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by.
The little grey haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.
You sink your teeth into a steak -- and they stay there.
Tags: aging, humorous, lumbago, maria, mystical, of, sayings, signs, witty
Views: 29
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by blondie 11 on
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Just remember with age there is wisdom. I enjoy my life and all the perks that come with it. The last child has been gone over 10 years now, and I have yet to have the empty nest thing. I am too busy catching up. I have been lucky and never been seriously ill and always had been able to keep things between the lines.
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Permalink Reply by KarenSme on
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I'm getting older too, dammitall2hell. !
However, I'm doing my best to live it, enjoy it and run from Western medicine, if I can, for my feeble problems, if I can find other solutions (yoga, massage, exercise, Martian with special exotic elixirs...)
I want to do the best I can to preserve what I have so I can be mobile and independent. I have family, but no children or ones to turn to for old age as we know it.
I'm trusting that my 401k will suddenly revive so I have that $5 to get to the welfare office and figure it out.
I'm 55, so I figure I need to work til I'm 78 to have enough to pay the mortgage and survive to 85.
God knows, I will live to 105. But how? Please send survivalist gear for Christmas, or cash.
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Permalink Reply by stillgoing on
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Sme, I'm pretty clueless, as many will attest, so I need you around to answer stuff. Maybe start charging for sharing your multifaceted expertise? Can I open an account?
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Permalink Reply by Jaylee53 on
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ROFLMAO!!! This is hilarious...although I can only relate a couple of them....*kidding*! I still have my teeth! I have no 401K...got lost in the fire.
I might have to depend on the kindness of others or the lottery to end my run in a somewhat comfy state.
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Permalink Reply by Bob Stepp on
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If I were just independently wealthy, I would be fine as frog hair. Wouldn't trade the knowledge I've gained or the experiences I've had....(well, most of 'em anyway)...Certainly would not trade the Yankee Girl away..! I can still jump as high as always.....just can't stay that high as long....
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Robbie, did you find this online or just what you experienced this morning?
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Permalink Reply by CWO3ROBBIE on
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SG, How did you know the picture of that sign was in my bathroom?
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Well I just kind of heard it through the grapevine.
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Permalink Reply by Bull on
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Robbie
Didn't you just have a birthday? Thought bold would make it easier to read.
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Thanks Bull. An Opth, Optom, Opthom, Eye Doctor. Once told me "There really isn't much wrong with your eyes, They're just 5 years older than the rest of your body".
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Permalink Reply by Mother Sanity (JackieRodzinski) on
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I LIKE you! We have ALOT in common! Mother Sanity
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