The telephone game

[caseyjo]

Remember the old game we used to play in school called telephone. It is a game used to teach children about gossip and how it can hurt people. The children all sit around in a circle and one is picked to start the ball rolling. The teacher whispers something in the child's ear, and she in turn whispers what the teacher said into the ear of the next child, and on it goes all the way around the circle. By the time it reaches the last person in the circle , that student says out loud what was said by the teacher.....except...it is never the same.

The internet works something like that. I know how many times I wrote something and it was taken out of context, or it was taken I was angry when I wasn't, or what got around was totally turned around into something it never started out to be, or I forgot to add something I should of, or I totally ignored a post I should have answered, etc, etc, etc.

I have actually stopped talking to people because of A telephone game mentality..people I really liked I developed anger and mistrust for. This action on my part has only served to hurt me more, and lashing out and blaming people for things has never helped any situation I have ever been in. Realizing not a single one of us is perfect, we all have good and bad traits in us..It is not always how you see yourself, but how others see you. Some people might see us as well rounded nice individuals, while others might see us as self centered, egotistical.

I get this attitude sometimes.."This is who I am & this is what you are going to get"...Well, I can change my attitude a we bit, no matter how right I think I am....I am not always. With that in mind, I hope to bridge divides I have been involved in here on TBD. I am tired of holding grudges...some maybe unfounded in the first place....I like the personalities out there in TBD land. If we didn't have bad there would be no good & vice Versa. It is how I choose to handle it that counts......Hugs as always...K

[caseyjo]

Yes I did ....Your a better Woman than I Gunga Din.....I am at the point where...If they cant read between the lines or keep a open mind on here, and are too afraid to ask what is meant, KMA anyway....so be it...Like you said "The ones that matter don't mind". And the ones that mind don't matter.

Defending my own honor oh here actually backfired, but I still gained friends...People are funny. I love to spit & spat and rumble and get cozy & whatever.....Fun Fun Fun. If things get to hot from now on I will just get out of the kitchen.....Whoo Hoo...What a concept...Hugs....K

[caseyjo]

You hit a nail right on the head JilliAnn......Emotion is such a big factor and another would be intent..I have noticed many nice posts I put up are not used by people ...When that happens I am pretty sure (and can sometimes see) they have confused my intent, when I was only trying to be helpful.....emotion & intent.....Two factors we can't control on this superhighway.

[caseyjo]

Thanks for the complement Phil, but I don't deserve it..I am just regular folk here on tbd trying to be happy and have a few good friends, which I do..so Wa la....I'm happy. You have been a good friend and your posts are always thoughtful and fair minded.....Thanks....K

[caseyjo]

Here is a Fredrick Nietzsche quote I like......"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." .....It is the Characters I like here....when it comes to personalities...I still plan to be careful.

[caseyjo]

Quinn...Your father sounds like a very wise man...My Mother always said it takes a strong person to stand on their own, and the weak need back-up. She told me to stay away from gangs and gang mentality....I never forgot that. It has helped me to become a very strong person... You are so right..do not compromise your principals , ideas , or integrity to suit another.

I just got to thinking after I wrote that last paragraph people might misunderstand me and expect to see some sort of big change in me...Not. I like my spunky self, but a wee tiny attitude adjustment on my part can't hurt every once in a while...I can get really judgmental from time to time.....Thanks Quinn for passing on the great advice from your Dad...Hugs...K

[Quinn]

...blaming people for things has never helped any situation I have ever been in...

I think one of the most valuable lessons we can learn is to take responsibility for our actions. To not make excuses and especially not blame other people for what bothers us.
My Father told me a long time ago that we are responsible for our own happiness, we can't expect other people to make us happy.
He also told me to never compromise my principles, ideals, or integrity to suit another. Change is good, but not at the risk of losing who you are...