I'm a Segregationist

[Gary Freedman]

I'm a segregationist. I believe God wanted blacks and whites to be separate. It's a sin to mix blacks and whites. Whites have their own specific character. Blacks have their own specific character. I find that mixing blacks and whites is confusing. When I was a boy it was particularly confusing.

Did you ever hear about why zebras developed stripes? Biologists believe that zebras developed stripes because stripes have survival value for the species. You see, when a predator, like a lion, sees a herd of black- and white-striped zebras, it gets confused. The lion is unable to focus on any one particular zebra and hunt it down for the kill. So it's a biological fact: mixing blacks and whites is confusing: some would say disturbing, even. It's unnatural to mix blacks and whites.

That's why I have one drawer for my black socks and another drawer for my white socks. One drawer says "Whites Only." The other drawer says "Blacks Only."

I have a constitutionally-protected right to segregate my socks under a general right to privacy. Griswold v. Connecticut, 381 U.S. 479 (1965). See also, Shelley v. Kraemer, 334 U.S. 1, (1948) (federal constitutional protections do not apply to private action no matter how discriminatory).

Some might argue the fact that I live on Social Security Disability renders my sock segregation state action. This question remains unresolved, but the Supreme Court has held private citizens to be liable as state actors when they conspire with government officials to deprive socks of their rights. Conversely, in National Collegiate Athletic Association v. Smith, the Supreme Court has found that the National Collegiate Athletic Association is not a state actor, despite its heavy reliance on state-supported educational institutions. Thus, athletic socks may lawfully be segregated.

[Gary Freedman]

Grace, I used to work at a law firm. An employee kept talking about her July telephone bill one day. She kept saying: "Ju-ly. Ju-ly." I complained to the firm's managers that it was an instance of anti-Semitism: that the employee's statement could be interpreted as "Jew lie, Jew lie." I added that around that time the same employee had been saying, "liar, liar, pants on fire" and that she had entered a room saying, "oy veh." (The employee was African American). The firm concluded that my interpretation was a sign of severe mental illness, and management fired me. I applied for Social Security Disability benefits on the basis of the firm's determination that I was mentally ill because I looked for hidden meanings in coworkers' statements.

Grace, looking for hidden meanings, looking for meanings of statements beyond the manifest meaning, can get you certified insane. Are you insane?

[Gary Freedman]

If you study the great genius' of recorded history, most of them had an excellent sense of humor. Examples are Einstein, Pablo Casals, Albert Schweitzer, Leonardo Da Vinci, Shakespeare, Goethe, and the list goes on.

Humor can also be cultivated and developed. As one's creative abilities increase you will be able to sense the absurd in any situation. Doing this allows for freedom of thought.

A sense of humor is associated with ego strength and creative potential. I wonder what a lack of a sense of humor says about someone?

[Gary Freedman]

Did you know that each and every zebra individual has a distinctive striping pattern on its skin? Absolutely amazing! Very confusing though…they all look the same to me lol! For scientists nevertheless, zebras can be differentiated from one another by comparing patterns, stripe widths, color and scars!

The reason behind zebra stripes is still somewhat contested. One hypothesis is that the patterning helps to bear up solar radiation.

Another is that it confuses predators during night time, when the big cats are most active. The concept is called disruptive coloration, and while during the day it makes the animals stand out, at dawn it distorts true distances and can be very effective indeed! Thank You Mother Nature!

[Gary Freedman]

Grace, lighten up!

[Whiny Old Bastard]

Larry, Gary is correct about the stripes.
Grace, it is kind of funny.

[larry kremis]

If stripes really had survival value for zebras, lions and the other big cats would starve. You're a very bright man Gary who comes up with some really stupid ideas.

[Grace Linda]

THIS IS NOT FUNNY, THINK YOU NEED TO SHOVE YOUR SOCKS SOMEWHERE!

[Snagg]

Ahh, but how do you feel about Oreo cookies?

[Dazzling Zoomer Gal Diana]

No wonder I find retuning to the United States after more than 32 years away so confusing.

[Whiny Old Bastard]

By golly, That ought to get some attention.