From the Spam Files

[Carol T]

Was it in the old TWG that Bmichael started a thread about spam?  I couldn't seem to find anything here.

Anyway, the subject heading of one of my spams: Bobbie jo Kazi 

I am intrigued (but not intrigued enough to open it) because it is such a specific, unusual name.  Does the spammer think that someone will actually know someone with that name and open the email?

[Bmichael]

,,,and...she's not a very good spelter...

[Bmichael]

Not the sort of thing we're used to in this thread, but this came through last night at work...

i SHOULD HAVE NEVER HAD TO TAKE ZYPREXA IT MADE ME GAIN ALL THAT WEIGHT FREDERIC AND HIS CULT GANG ANARCHY BUDDIES USED ME T THROW IN HOSPITALS WITH ABUSE TRY TO HAVE ME COMITTED BY DRIVING ME CRAZY, WASTED DRS TIME ON PEOPLE WHO NEED THEM, USED ME AS A TAX WRITE OFF FOR MEDICAL EXPENSES I NEED YOU ALL TO LISTEN TO THIS  AND NOTE THE IS RICK SOUTHERLAN 5039885056 EXT 27449 WHO ADMITS SOMEONE I ME IN 2010 CUSED MY STROKE MENTAL TORTURE CAUSES PHYSICAL ILLNESSES I STARTED HEARING VOICES IN 1998 AND HE THOUGHT HE OULD PLAY ME OFF AS A SCHIZOID FREAK WHO WOULDNT BE BELIEVABLE THIS IS ILLEGAL AND O THE I NEED ALL OF YOU TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE THIS IS A VIOLENT HATE CRIME IF GREG PUNCHED ME IN MY FACE IT IS NO DIFFERENT THAT ABUSE THIS IS WORSE HE TARGETED ME BECAUSE iM A CHRISTIAN AND USES THE DEVILS TOOLS TO TRY T HARM ME FOR BLASPHEMOUS MONEY AND LUST AND GLUTTONY HE HASNEVER WORKED A DAY N HIS LIFE HIS PAROLE OFFICER IS VIOLATING MY HUMAN AND CIVIL RIGHTS  NEVER AGREED FOR GREG TO MENTALLY CNNECT TO ME HE FORCED HIS CONNECTION FOR YEARS I BELIEVED I WAS SCHIZOPHRENIA AND FINALLY GOT THE LABEL REMOVED NOW I NEED YOU TO STAND UP ALONG SIDE OF MED AND TELL THOSE SATANIC WORHIPPERS THAT WE ARE STILL THE united STATES OF america AND god HAS BLESSED US IVE BEEN TORMENTED FOR 15 YEARS AND I WANT THE TRUTH TO BE TOLD EVEN IF BY MEDIA TO GET THE ATTENTION AWAY FROM BLASPHEMY AND WHERE IT BELONGS AND TO TELL MY STORY  TO PREVENT THESE OCCULT IDIOTS FROM EVER HURTING ANYONE EVER AGAIN 3608758112 3607832708 840 CROSSING ST RAYMON WA 98577 GOD BLESS AMERICA

Trying to figure an appropriate response...I've got the beginning - "Thank you for contacting the ..." and the ending - "and if we can be of further assistance, please let us know."

It's the middle that's got me stumped.

Perhaps I should start with "Dear Satanic Worshipers..."

[Westerly_2]

Do you know this person, and how did they get your address? You could advise her (him) to stand on a box on the corner with a sign, but (s)he probably wouldn't get too much time to state the case. A good friend of mine ranted in a long dress and head band about Jesus one time in the sixties, and they quickly picked her up for observation. Her only possessing demon was LSD, so she was sober in the morning. Oh, my. 

[Bmichael]

No…I don’t know this person (although I would like to…seems like there could be a lot of good writing material in there).

We provide direct  law enforcement support in the form of real time booking and incarceration records, PSE purchases, and victim notifications among others, nationally.

As a result ,we get our share of questionable contacts through 800 numbers and email portals. I happened to be monitoring the queue when this came along.

[Westerly_2]

I guess it wouldn't be within your authority to recommend that this person run for congress in his district. His views have won primaries before, and will, I'm sure, again and again.

[Bmichael]

Heh, heh, heh...just got this request to chat...from

[e-mail]...

I'll keep you posted!

[Marilyn]

I wouldn't get sucked into this one, Bmichael! I'd wait for active.slurpee@mail --- once you start using the passive voice, you're doomed.

But seriously, let us know how THAT goes.

[Bmichael]

So I wrote back and...

Uhh...umm...I...I uh...

I'm speechless.

I think my horizons have just broadened.

(Gulp)

[Carol T]

"I wouldn't get sucked into this one, Bmichael!"

So to speak. :-D

[Bmichael]

This showed up in the mailbag recently

From: 
Sent: Thursday, October 31, 2013 11:37 AM
To: info
Subject: Brandy C

 

please consider Brandy C FOR A COMPASSIONATE RELEASE.  I believe that she has been apart from her family all that she needs to be considering her health.  'She has several young children at home and I think that they need to have their mother close by , so they can bond with her again, and that this would not turn them against the justice system.  I understand that Brandy is terminally ill and feel that it would be expensive for the system to keep her in Prison until she dies.  And unnecessary, she is obviously in no state to commit more crimes.   And if a Taliban leader can be released, why not a wife and mother?

[Westerly_2]

Sad.

It must vary from state to state, but who usually decides these things: the courts, the warden, some bureau - federal or state? I'm thinking, the process would be so long, the dying petitioners would be dead before they ever got heard.

[Bmichael]

If you’ve ever been to a trade show or major convention, have you ever wondered where they get all those overly-attractive hot bodies you can rent to jazz up your aluminum siding or rhythmic breathing booth?

This came in last night…

 

Dear Exhibitor,

 

We are now booking hostesses for the 2014 PLRB Claims Conference & Insurance Services Expo in Indianapolis.  Do you have a hostess/greeter for your booth/suite?
 
We are Indiana's only provider of local trade show staff.  Intelligent, attractive, fun, with great "people" skills, we stop traffic at your booth and interact with them.  Some of the things we do are:

 

• Greet Attendees
• Describe/Demonstrate Products
• Sample Products
• Distribute Literature
• Scan Badges
• Oral Sex
• Direct Traffic to Your Booth
• Help with Giveaways and/or Prizes

 

Regardless of what we do for you, we're a proven and affordable way to increase traffic at your booth and maximize your leads/sales.        

We are the Midwest's largest trade show staffing agency.  If you've seen us at past shows, you already know the difference a good hostess can make in the interaction at your booth.  Please contact us today to have our show info sent to you by email!  

 

Regards,

 

Tonya xxxxx

Event Staffing

 

 

xxxxModels - The Midwest's Source for Models

 

(702) 205-xxxx
(702) 441- xxxx fax