TBD on Ning

Drone Home

Heh…heh…heh…

On the subject of drones, I’m not opposed to them, as long as they’re blowing the crap out of the Taliban, CNN (Cable Nonsense News) or Girls’ Generation.

However, Amazon recently announced future plans to use drones to deliver merchandise ordered on their website. The idea that my order would be delivered via a small flying thing –with cameras- that can land or hover in my front yard, back yard, or balcony, is a cause for concern.

I think it would be a big (and costly mistake).

While I would never consider actually hunting a live animal, I have no qualms about shooting or capturing robots to satisfy my primordial need to kill things.

Using wide pattern birdshot would be the first choice – although a bit risky in a populated area and almost guaranteed to bring an unfriendly visit from the Sheriff’s Department who tend to take a rather dim view of discharging weapons in the neighborhood.

Option #2 would be one of those big fishing nets – the kind that those guys who fish while standing in the middle of creeks and streams use to snatch it out of the air.

Option #3 would be to invite it in – while you pretend to look for a pen – and lure it into a closet – and shut the door.

Option #4 is batting practice. You probably want to use an aluminum bat as you blast it into smithereens…that’s right – smithereens!

Note - It is highly suggested that you wear something to mask your identity during any one of the previously listed activities – Amazon is probably gonna be pissed.

Now then, what will you do with it once you’ve caught it?

Well, if it’s still in one piece, call Amazon immediately and tell them you found it on the side of the road …and by the way, what’s the ~~ransom~~ … er…reward for returning it, unharmed? These things are probably worth hundreds, if not thousands of dollars. Should be able to get a few bucks for it, if not a discount on a future purchase, at least.

Another thought is to start a collection. Trade with other “hunters”.

“That’s a pretty nice X-14, ya got there, pal. Whattaya take for it?”

“Well, lemme see here…I sold this one back to Amazon three times, now. They’re startin’ to get suspicious. I’ll trade ya for your J-29 and 20 bucks.”

“Fifteen.”

“Deal.”

Or you can simply mount it over the fireplace. Chicks really dig it.

Well, thanks for reading. I’ve gotta go place another order for sticky notes on Amazon.

I’m a little short on cash this week.