I Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit. ~Author Unknown
Latest Activity: Nov 3, 2022
Started by Wendy. Last reply by Wendy Oct 23, 2022.
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool… After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly,…Continue
Started by Jozee. Last reply by PartTimeBrewer May 18, 2021.
DEFINE EMBARRASSMENT:You take your 96 year old father who you're taking care of in his senior years to yet another doctors appointment.Your first thoughts are, with this pandemic going on, I'm…Continue
Started by Grandma Helen. Last reply by Jozee Apr 24, 2021.
Started by Grandma Helen. Last reply by OneEyedDiva Jan 23, 2021.
The Wedding Ceremony came to that awkward moment when the priest asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom.
Utter silence was broken when a beautiful young woman carrying a child stood up. She starts walking slowly towards the priest.
The congregation was aghast - you could almost hear a pin drop.
The groom's jaw dropped as he stared in disbelief at the approaching young woman and child.
Chaos ensued as the bride threw the bouquet into the air and burst out crying. Then the groom's mother fainted.
The best men started giving each other looks and wondering how to save the situation.
The priest asked the woman, "Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?"
There was absolute silence in the church as the woman replied, "We can't hear you in the back."
And that my friends illustrates what happens when people are considered guilty until proven innocent.
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. Suddenly the horse falls into a mud hole and starts sinking. He tells the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farmer, but the farmer can't be found.
So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend and drives forward saving the horse from sinking.
A few days later, the chicken and horse are playing in the meadow again, and the chicken falls into a mud hole. The chicken tells the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.
The horse says: "I think I can get you out."
So he stretches over the width of the hole and says: "Grab hold of my 'thing' and pull yourself up."
The chicken does this and is pulled to safety. Moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks
Two men, a young one and an elderly one, hit each other in a car collision, wrecking both cars. Somehow, both men are unhurt and able to crawl out of their cars. The old man says, "Wow, look at our cars! It's a miracle that we weren't hurt! And I think it's a sign that we're meant to be friends!" The young man says, "I agree." The old man reaches into the wreckage of his car, pulls out a bottle of wine and says, "Wow, and look here: this bottle of wine I had in my car somehow made it unbroken! We should celebrate us being miraculously saved and our new friendship" and hands the wine to the young man. The young man says, "You're right", opens the bottle, drinks half the wine, and hands the bottle back to the old man who takes it and just screws the cap back on. "Aren't you going to drink any?" asks the young man. "Naw, I'll wait 'till after the police get here and finish their report."
A smart-aleck young lawyer & an elderly man are sitting next to each other on a long plane flight. The lawyer asks the old man if he would like to play a fun game.
"Well," asks the old man, "how does the game go?"
The lawyer explains, "I ask you a question. If you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00. Then, you ask me a question & if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500.00."
The old man agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question: "What is the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The old man doesn't say a word, just reaches in his pocket & hands the lawyer $5.00.
Now it's the old man's turn. He asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs & comes down with four?"
The lawyer gets on his smart phone & searches the internet for the answer. He sends texts to all his smart friends. None of them could help him. After an hour of searching, he hands the old man $500.00.
The old man pockets the $500.00 & starts to take a nap.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the old man up & asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs & comes down with four?"
The old man shrugs, hands the lawyer $5.00 & goes back to sleep.
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