Laughter is the best medicine

Comment

Comment by codger price on February 20, 2010 at 8:50am

A pretty woman, carrying a stack of boxes from
a shopping spree, was walking down the street
when all of a sudden a strong wind lifts her skirt.

The hillbilly standing nearby just looked and smiled.
The woman snaps at him, "Well, I can see that you're
no gentleman!"

The hillbilly says, "And I can see you ain't one, neither!"

Comment by Goldilocks46 on February 20, 2010 at 8:49am

Yes, they are! I remember seeing some of these where I used to work. Liked them then, too!

Comment by codger price on February 20, 2010 at 8:41am

i like them and use a lot of them, very funny

Comment by metub4 on February 20, 2010 at 6:09am

Hillbilly Medical Terms

Benign..........................What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria........................Back door to cafeteria.
Barium.........................What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section..........A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan........................Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize......................Made eye contact with her.
Colic............................A sheep dog.
Coma...........................A punctuation mark.
D&C............................Where Washington is.
Dilate...........................To live long.
Enema..........................Not a friend.
Fester...........................Quicker than someone else.
Fibula...........................A small lie.
G.I.Series....................World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail......................What you hang your coat on.
Impotent......................Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain...................Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff................A Doctor's cane.
Morbid........................A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates.......................Cheaper than day rates.
Node...........................I knew it.
Outpatient...................A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear...................A fatherhood test.
Pelvis...........................Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative.............A letter carrier.
Recovery Room...........Place to do upholstery.
Rectum.......................Damn near killed him.
Secretion.....................Hiding something
Seizure........................Roman emperor.
Tablet.........................A small table.
Terminal Illness...........Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor........................More than one.
Urine..........................Opposite of mine.
Varicose......................Near by/close by

Comment by Mary Morris on February 19, 2010 at 7:15pm

Laughter can be the next best thing to medicine!

Comment by codger price on February 19, 2010 at 4:31pm

Somewhere in the deep South, Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"

"Yes, Bubba, that is true."

"And people are suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries ... is that true, mister lawyer?"

"Sure is Bubba, but why do you ask?"

"Cause I was thinkin' .... maybe I can sue Budweiser for all them ugly women I've been wakin' up with!"

Comment by Belle Starr on February 19, 2010 at 8:14am

Back in the Old West three Texas cowboys were about to be hung for cattle rustling. The lynch mob brought the three men to a tree right at the edge of the Rio Grande. The idea was that when each man had died, theyd cut the rope and hed drop into the river and drift out of sight They put the first cowboy in the noose, but he was so sweaty and greasy he slipped out, fell in the river and swam to freedom. They tied the noose around the second cowboys head. He, too, oozed out of the rope, dropped into the river and got away. As they dragged the third Texan to the scaffold, he resisted, "Please! Would yawl tighten that noose a little bit? I cant swim!"

Comment by codger price on February 19, 2010 at 6:35am

Your Church Might Be A Redneck Church If:

- People ask, when Jesus fed 5000, whether the
two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait
was used to catch 'em.

- The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to
help take up the offering," then five guys
and two women stand up.

- Opening day of deer season is recognized as
an official church holiday.

- A member of the church requests to be buried in
his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never
been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

- With a congregation of 500 members, there are
only seven last names in the church directory.

- Baptism is referred to as "branding."

- People think "rapture" is what you get when
you lift something too heavy.

Comment by codger price on February 19, 2010 at 6:23am

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.

At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head "Yes" and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head, "No" and mumble a reply. Curious, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.

The farmer replied, ''The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.' The men would ask, 'You wanna sell that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.'"

Comment by Sedona7 on February 14, 2010 at 10:42am

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