Leading a Purposeful Life

[uno,dos,3]

I just attended my 50th H.S. class reunion. Upon reflection I realize that my life is getting shorter and that I should attempt to do some good works prior to departing planet earth. I think I have determined how I can best serve my fellow man (actually women). As I understand it many Muslim terrorists believe that they will gain heaven and receive around 19 virgins to carnally serve them. I can't believe that there is an abundance of virgins around which leads me to believe that if they are correct in this belief .......almost all virgins who go to heaven will have a terrorist anxiously awaiting their arrival. I am thus offering to deflower virgins so that they  may have a chance for a better life in the afterlife. One problem is that in my 68 years on this planet I have yet to have sex with a virgin......but if it wasn't such a difficult task I guess more men would be doing it........so there you have it.

I'm starting to feel real good about myself.....as Dell says....I live to serve.   

[Marianne Kiendl]

Always happy to help.  Here is an extract from "How to Spot a Virgin for Dummies".

She does not need to be beautiful and sexy.  She does not need to be fat and ugly, either - occasionally you may find a very attractive girl who regularly carries Horny Guy Repellent and does not hesitate to use it, along with The Look of Doom, which if ignored will result in a sound slapping.

Another helpful tip is the color of her skin. The differences are very subtle, virgin girls tend to have fairer skin than non-virgins. The best virgins have skins that are white as snow. Once a girl has had sex, however, her skin becomes just a tiny bit darker, more tan appearing. This is why white is the color of chastity, and once a girl has had sex, she becomes tarnished