Holding Back

[Wayne Goodwin]

I saw on CBS tonight on 60 minutes where the second in command of Facebook which is a Woman said . Most woman put their future Career for work on hold , taking care of family and kids . In stead of getting great jobs and a better future . 

Can you relate to that ?

[Lifesighs]

T2, have had that experience more than once in both public and private sector. When I left the job in the private sector I was begged to come back six months later. Sometimes they do realize what they had after they drive us off. That time they had to hire 2 people to do the work I was doing and still it was not going well for them. My equalivent in the shop area was making about double my salary with a company car, he was always asking for my help with paperwork. Yet when it came to raises his was big and mine was small.

[T2Friends]

Pat, that is my point exactly.  There is nothing wrong with the choice you made, it doesn't make you better or worse than anyone else.  It was right for you and your family and that is the only measure the should be used.  I am glad that women have the choice.  Too many of our mothers or grandmother might have wanted to do other things but were denied access except for limited professions and jobs.  And don't get me wrong sometimes it doesn't feel like a choice but a necessity to go out to work or to stay home, I get that too.  But the work that women do when they stay home to rear their children and run their homes is no less valuable than what other women do when they work outside the home.

And Lifesighs, we all need a lesson in how to demand what we are worth and if not to take our skills elsewhere.  Easier said than done, I know.  And we often let other factors influence those decisions.  I think I need to read that book that has caused such a stir recently, Leaning in, or something like that?   

[Wayne Goodwin]

Back in the middle 50's dad got a job working at the Brickyard as a Kill Foreman . He made 95 cents an hour . Before i was born Mom worked in a Glove mill . Made probably 50 cents an hour . She quit to have me . Never went back to work . Most Dad made in his life was 5 dollars an hour . Mom never learned to drive , Never got to go anywhere much . She didn't know how to act when McDonald's came near by and could buy a 15 cent hamburger

[Lucinda Stone]

there has always been disparity in the workplace, any workplace.  back in the early 70's, i worked in a union shop factory. the pay went according to the job rate. however, there were men's jobs and ladies' jobs.  the ladies sat at the bench and did intricate handwork, the men worked in the machine shop running drill presses and the like.  altho none of the jobs required a Phd, the men's rate was much higher than the ladies'. the EEOC--equal employment opportunity commission-- came along and got into all that discrimination and such. we, the ladies, got our rate raised but it was still below the men's--they were different jobs of course. we all got the yearly raises, cost-of-living increases as determined by the union contract.  the only way to get a higher rated job was thru an 'upgrade' and that went strictly by seniority. if a girl did get the opportunity to go to the machine shop, she was either 'butch' or a 'tramp'.  obviously this pre-dates the sexual harrassment rules these days.  there were not too many women in the machine shop.  i think the hiring practice was boy's to the machine shop, girl's to the bench.

oncce you did manage to get out of the manufacturing /production area, and get into the office, both men and women got the same pay, as the jobs were all the same grade.  of course, if you were a very good worker, you could get a temporary 'special rate' for doing a job above your grade.  but the general theory behind that was "it's not what you know, it's who you b---" and trust me, that's not a pretty thing.

was never able to know any one's salary when i got out of the union and crossed into management, exact pay was never discussed, but we were in the same salary 'range' and that range was like the ocean, very shallow at one end and very deep further in... but you could always kinda tell by the type of car people drove....

thinking that since i left that company, they made all the production jobs the same rate, which was about time... however, around the same time, they moved it all to mexico(which is a whole 'nother story for another day)

[crestofwaves]

I found that I was lonely when I didn't work. In my first marriage, I stayed home six year with my babies, who I had  year apart.  I waited for my husband each night, but we did not have the ideal relationship so his homecoming was not what I had hoped for. I loved being with the kids, but they started nursery school, then school and I could not find happiness in the chores that I did or going to lunch with the girls or being on PTA or planning fashion shows and tricky trays, even though I did all those things.  And, I missed talking and laughing with men. Young mothers don't have a lot of contact with men. And I missed my own money. I was happy to go back to work and dress up and have a schedule.  I got so used to the activity and the laughs and the social part of it that I tolerated the getting up early part.

My point is, everyone is different.  We have a choice now.  That's a good thing.

[Kim]

When I was a young stay at home mom, I felt strongly that women should be home with their kids if they CAN and though I kept it to myself, I felt bad that all of my sister in laws were working moms and stated they wouldn't be able to STAND being home all the time. BUT...THEN I realized, NOT everyone should stay home with their kids and OTHERS just should NOT try to juggle both.

Women ARE on a "time limit" as far as having kids go. Men can have kids as long as they can...well....I don't know HOW LONG but practically "forever" so why WOULDN'T some women "put their career on hold"?  Its kinda just the way life IS!!

I graduated high school with NO DESIRE to have a career so I guess that helped. It made it easy when I got pregnant at 18 to make the decision to raise my kids myself. I am 47 and many people my age or older have 5 year olds and I am SOOOO glad I'm way past that "stage" in my life  and can't have any  more kids!! It was a good thing for ME to have kids when I was young and to work on my career NOW that they are all grown up.