Can You Relate

[Wayne Goodwin]

Woman wants teen years back

Dear Abby: “Jake” and I have been married more than 20 years. I married before I was 18, and I’m not even 40 yet. Jake is seven years my senior. We have had our ups and downs, and although the last five years have been fine, I want more out of life than sitting home watching TV or hanging out with him.

We have two children. One is away at college and the other starting high school. When I talk to my husband about wanting to do things, he says I should have done them when I was younger. But I married him before I was even an adult!

Is it wrong to want to go out and do things I never got to do when I was a teenager?

It makes me question whether or not I want to be married to him anymore. I still love him, but I have changed. — WANTS MORE OUTWEST

[dwalt]

I know people like this. But for me, no, I pretty much have gotten to do what I wanted to do.  Don't get me wrong, I have always worked and paid my own way. I surround myself with people that are the  same as myself and we get along great.

[Mickchick]

I can't relate, because I waited until I was 24 and had lived on my own before I got married, and I have had the opportunity to do what I want since that time.  I can understand her WANTING to do those things, and I think her husband is wrong to say she should have done them before she got married since he's the one who married her before she had the chance. 

Since she says she still loves him, I think she should talk to him seriously about seeing a marriage counselor to try to save their marriage.

[Lifesighs]

When I got married at 20 that was exactly what I wanted to be, a wife and I was a mother at 21 if my husband at the time wasn't so self centered and selfish I probably would have stayed, I did divorce and then had 8+ years of being single again so no I can't relate.

This girl will never get back the time she wants, that age is gone but she can start doing things she likes, take some classes find some friends who will go places with her if her husband wants to be a stick in the mud. If he objects then she can reconsider her options. She can find a job and save up for travel with groups, lots of options.