THESE LIPS AINT FOR KISSING

[Mark Joel Lane]

Scientists at the Helena Rubinstein Institute in Helsinki, Finland are excited to announce an amazing discovery with global implications.  After thorough and vigorous tests and analysis by the Atomic Energy Commission and experts at the International Society of Scientology (ISOS), the report has been confirmed of the discovery of a new element named "Lipsillium". 

 

     Lipsillium is a waxy. unctuous substance with a half life of only a few hours (half life being the time required by any specific property to decrease by half.) This newly found element was discovered quite by accident after it was being cultivated at conjugal Eskimo interactions in Antarctica. 

 

     Alchemists have classified lipsillium as a non metalloid in the periodic table of elements with chemical properties similar to yttrium and lubridium. It's exact atomic weight and placement in the periodic table as yet has not been determined.

 

     Lipsillium has already been found to have uses as a rocket fuel additive, helps dissolve those annoying skin tags loved by dermatologists, and adds a robustness to shrimp jambalaya.

 

     The discovery of the element, lipsillium,  has much more significant ramifications however, than used in some shrimp or crawfish etouffee recipe. There are three basic reasons for the enthusiasm of the scientific community. 

 

     It may help us understand the origins of the human race. It may provide new clues to the formation of our universe, specifically our Milky Way galaxy..  and it will be a great word for future spelling bees and scrabble players.

[darroll]

Lipsillium will certainly put you in the mood.