THE REAL COOKIE MONSTER

[Mark Joel Lane]

   Now I've seen everything. What's this world coming to? Another icon of American culture has gone to pot..and I mean it quite literally..gone to pot.. cannabis. marijuana, weed, grass, Mary Jane, a rose by any other name.  I'm talking about Girl Scout Cookies. !!!!!  Disguised in their shortbread ,peanut butter, mint, chocolate chip, and a myriad of other cookies,the GSUSA,(Girl Scouts of America),  have cookie lovers reaching for new heights. and I don't mean on the supermarket shelves where they are often found.

 

     Girl scouting has always been associated with developing valuable lifetime skills, upstanding morality, and making their communities a better place to live.  Now they're making them a "higher" place to live.  Federal agents have found cannabinoids in the girl scout cookie recipes, similar to the hash cookie or space cookie they are sometimes called.  The hashish in some of these treats are more potent than plain marijuana cookies.  In addition, the rum and brandy infused cannabinoids are resulting in new levels of psychoactive effects. it's like going from the top of a snow mound to Mount Everest.

 

     Bad enough these young girls must work enslaved in unacceptable and dangerous sweatshops with hazardous and flammable materials. Violating health and safety regulations are not enough it seems. The girl scouts are abused verbally and physically . Worst of all they are denied milk and cookie breaks from these deplorable conditions and toiling day and night like zombie  elves.  I guess "That's the way the cookie crumbles" should be the new motto of the Girl Scouts of America.  I don't know about you but Nabisco and Keebler are the only cookies I'm buying for my home and family.  An Oreo or a Chips Ahoy is all I need for a higher joy.