The latest in a long line of stupid, stupid criminals!

[HAVE_A_HEART]

We have all seen the stories. The stories of wanna be criminal masterminds that it turns out these people were not really born to be the criminal masterminds they wanna be. Ok--check out this latest story here...and hope to God you are in no way related to this guy!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32859958/ns/us_news-weird_news/?gt1=43001

After you come to grips with yourself and you have wiped away the tears from your eyes...let's share some other stories about dumb criminals you have heard of, or read about. hey---if you have the links to the story--that would be wonderful! I am sure this thread is going to be a long line of dumbness revealed!

[stillgoing]

OK, some of the below are repeats or awfully similar to prior posts but there are some extremely funny, ones I'd never seen before.....



Stupid Crooks Hall of Fame.


Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.

A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.

A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.

A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.

Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

A convict broke out of jail in Washington D.C., then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.

A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking," stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.

Forty-five-year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to the police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.

Karen Lee Joachimmi, 20, was arrested in Lake City, Florida for robbery of a Howard Johnson's motel. She was armed with only an electric chain saw, which was not plugged in.

The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 7:50am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerck said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, RI after allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest 4 bags of money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds each, and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that police officers easily jumped him from behind.

The Belgium news agency, Belga, reported in November that a man suspected of robbing a jewelry store in Liege said he couldn't have done it, "because he was busy breaking into a school at the same time." Police then arrested him for breaking into the school.

Dave so-and-so of Anniston, Alabama, was injured recently after he attempted to replace a tubelike fuse in his Cheby pickup with a 22-caliber rifle bullet (used because it was a perfect fit). However, when electricity heated the bullet, it went off and shot him in the knee.

Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because of a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to compose himself.

Kentucky (where else?): Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.

South Carolina: A man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately.

Indiana: A man walked up to a cashier at a grocery store and demanded all the money in the register. When the cashier handed him the loot, he fled--leaving his wallet on the counter.

England: A German "tourist," supposedly on a golf holiday, shows up at customs with his golf bag. While making idle chatter about golf, the customs official realizes that the tourist does not know what a "handicap" is. The customs official asks the tourist to demonstrate his swing, which he does--backward! A substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag.

Germany: Oil of Olay no longer turning the trick for her, a woman decided that she would bathe in the milk of a camel (a modern-day Cleopatra). So she stole a camel from the local zoo (where *else* can you find a camel when you need one?) and transported it back to her house--where she realized that the camel's name was "Otto."

Arizona: A company called "Guns For Hire" stages gunfights for Western movies, etc. One day, they received a call from a 47-year- old woman, who wanted to have her husband killed. She got 4-1/2 years in jail.

Texas: A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serve a prison sentence. For payment, he provided the court a check--a *forged* check. He got 10 years.

(Location Unknown): A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a Hefty-bag face mask over his head--and realized that he'd forgotten to cut eyeholes in the mask.

(Location Unknown): A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole--are you ready for this?--the bank's video camera. While it was recording. Remotely. (That is, the videotape recorder was located elsewhere in the bank, so he didn't get the videotape of himself stealing the camera.)

(Location Unknown): A man successfully broke into a bank's basement through a street-level window, cutting himself up pretty badly in the process. He then realized that (1) he could not get to the money from where he was,(2) he could not climb back out the window through which he had entered, and (3) he was bleeding pretty badly. So he located a phone and dialed "911" for help ...

Virginia: Two men in a pickup truck went to a new-home site to steal a refrigerator. Banging up walls, floors, etc., they snatched a refrigerator from one of the houses, and loaded it onto the pickup. The truck promptly got stuck in the mud, so these brain surgeons decided that the refrigerator was too heavy. Banging up *more* walls, floors, etc., they put the refrigerator BACK into the house, and returned to the pickup truck, only to realize that they locked the keys in the truck--so they abandoned it.

(Location Unknown): A man walked into a Circle-K (a convenience store similar to a 7-11), put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled-- leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars.

[HAVE_A_HEART]

And the scary part of this whole thing is? Not one of these stories were made up!

[HAVE_A_HEART]

If this story does not belong on this thread--I will never have another story for this thread!! This is not only the latest in a long line of stupid, stupid criminals--but add also my old addage--you have just GOTTA love some of the people u are force to share this earth with!!

Cops: Woman makes threat to delay flight
South Florida woman allegedly wanted to keep her boss from missing plane

updated 9:53 p.m. ET, Mon., Nov . 30, 2009
MIAMI - A South Florida woman has been charged with calling in a bomb threat to keep her boss from missing a flight. An arrest report said a 31-year-old woman was charged Thursday with making a false report of planting a bomb.

Miami International Airport officials received a call and an e-mail Wednesday claiming that a bomb was on an American Airlines plane. Police searched the specified aircraft but didn't find a bomb.

Investigators tracked the e-mail to the woman's computer.

During questioning, the woman reportedly told police that her boss had been booked on the flight to Honduras, but she had caused him to be late for the flight. She thought the bomb threat would give her boss time to make it.

The woman was being held on $7,500 bail.

[stillgoing]

This has happened more than once. Sometimes it is the late passenger making the call.

[HAVE_A_HEART]

It helps if you show up on time when u want to get something done!



Held up for hold-up? Thief too late to rob bank

Masked man tries to enter building not realizing it closed 6 minutes earlier


updated 12:46 p.m. ET, Tues., Dec . 1, 2009
WAUKESHA, Wis. - Maybe the bank robber needed the money to buy a watch.

It would seem he needed one after arriving six minutes after the Guardian Credit Union in Waukesha closed. Police said a man wearing a ski mask entered the first set of doors at 5:36 p.m. Wednesday with a gun, apparently not realizing the bank was closed.

The second set of doors was locked and police were called but the man left before they arrived.

Waukesha Police Sgt. Jerry Habanek told The Freeman in Waukesha that police are reviewing security tapes and investigating.

He said the robber could have planned poorly or possibly had another reason, like getting tied up in traffic.

[HAVE_A_HEART]

You know that hunger you get after a job well done?



British man robbed fried chicken restaurant then came back to order a mealPosted in December 26th, 2009 by Claudette Rothman in Stupid, crazy, criminal



A 38-year-old British man who had just robbed a fried chicken restaurant was arrested when he returned a few minutes later to order a meal.

According to reports, shortly after robbing the Southern Fried Chicken restaurant, the thief, whose identity has not been released, came back to the restaurant and ordered a meal then sat down to eat it.

While he was enjoying his food staff called the police who arrested the man.

“We’ve come across some stupid criminals in our time,” an Essex police source said. “But this beats all. Normal practice is to grab the cash and run, but this man was obviously controlled by his belly rather than his brain.”

Employees said the man sat down for 20 minutes eating his meal and at first they thought it was all part of a TV stunt.

The man, who initially got away with hundreds of dollars, was charged with possessing a weapon in a public place, theft and using threatening behavior in a public place.

He is scheduled to appear at Chelmsford Crown Court on January 4.