SUMMER FUN

[Mark Joel Lane]

 

 

 Hello mudda hello faddah.Here I am at camp Granada. Camp is very entertaining and they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining. Guess what ? I've decided to go to sleep away camp this summer..for just 7 weeks. This will be my first time away from home since my first semester at the State University at Rocky Brook  on Long Island  where I lived in someone's upstairs bedroom off campus.   I never lacked going to day camp growing up. I went to places on Long Island like Robin Hood and Big Foot and Ivanhoe  Day camps. But I always came home every night except once when our bus driver had us stay overnight on the bus while he engaged in a threesome at some sleazy motel. 

 

But this will be my time. Not a club med or club getaway at some all inclusive paradise resort for me and my wife.   . No..this is my time..Think of it. Arts and crafts.wood shop. water skiing, swimming, sleeping in a tent,rock climbing .I had looked into where we sent our daughter  many years ago...Camp Quagmire  in upstate NY  where she really matured. It was a 2 hour trip off the New York State Thruway. Our daughter  loved it. Maybe  I'd even have her counselors? But then I read about all the mass suicide cults, rapes, heroin overdoses, drownings, arboreal forest entity sacrifices,  and accidental shootings at Camp Quagmire  so I researched another  camp in nearby  Pennsylvania .. Camp Skunk Cabbage .I knew immediately that this is the camp for me. There's  even a gluten free menu and an on site urologist and gerontologist.

 

My wife and daughter  can visit me on visitor's day in mid July.  My wife  says this sleep away camp idea is very irresponsible of me. How can I neglect my work? my family? my parental obligations?The lady doth protest too much,me thinks . Big deal if I don't work for a couple of months. What's the point of having a savings if I can't use our money?  I just want to get in touch with nature,see stars at night not seen clearly because of our city lights..real stars, not some old comics like Don Rickles  or Joan Rivers on Long Island..see real forest animals , sing campfire songs,roast marshmallows on a dirty stick,  maybe catch a froggy.  I even hear  Camp Skunk Cabbage is often filled with rabid raccoons that run rampant throughout the camp site and campers can win free brownie points by killing them. Camp   starts around the end of June. I'm taking a leave of absence from work. My job  supervisor thinks it's a great idea and has encouraged me to learn to play with others. Oh Boy. I  Can't wait..                                                 

[CaliforniaNow]

Don't know whether to laugh or cry.  Let's laugh; it's more fun.

I never knew anyone who enjoyed summer camp except the Girl Scouts.  They musta had something the others didn't.

[flippr 2.0]

i'll take the beach.