BEDROOM TALK

[Mark Joel Lane]

     

     I had another sleepless night last night when trying to get some quality sleep I really need. I was very tired from a rough day at work and probably overtired as I tossed and turned and lay awake. To make matters worse, my air bag inflated which really made me wide awake.  This is the third time this has happened this month, but I've been told that each time the air bag was not faulty. It's my movements in bed.  Now I need to get another air bag at my local Bed ,Bath, and Far Out store.

 

I might invest in a seatbelt for my bed or maybe get a bigger bed with someone in it one of these days along with me. But for now, being single is not changing too soon. 

 

I'm also thinking of buying some bed insurance. The rates are reasonable. Most policies cover accidents like nocturia,(sudden urge to urinate at night), enuresis,(bedwetting), somnambulism,(sleepwalking), wet dreams, erotic dreams, sleep apnea collisions, and other nocturnal adventures. and bedbugs.   

 

Until I get my new air bag installed, I've decided to sleep on my living room couch. I just have to get a good night's sleep or I'll lose my mind.