AHOY THERE MATEY

[Mark Joel Lane]

Last Saturday my wife and I went on a 2 hour sightseeing cruise on the Hudson River in New York. Though we are closer to the lower Hudson area,I had to drive into New Jersey,then a bit North back into New York where we met friends at their home who drove us further upstate using two GPS systems  to this area called Newburgh for our exciting cruise. My wife and her female friend both took sea sickness pills an hour before our boat..(or is it a ship?) began its journey.

 

While part of the tour was  a pre-recorded narration,  our captain pointed out several sights which I must have missed. He directed to look out the starboard side..then later the port side. Now I'm no Captain Ahab and know nothing about boating directions.What's wrong with right or left? Either way, I saw nothing but water and hills and grass. Did you see West Point? Yeah. like I saw West Point. Did you see the castle we passed ? What castle? I'd prefer to stop at White Castle for some burgers and onion rings.

 

I never saw the mountains or some tower supposedly used in the 1939 Wizard of Oz movie where the wicked witch lived. Our captain pointed out a barge filled with sand we passed going in the other direction. ..YES. This was the highlight of our sightseeing..for $20 per person which included our senior discount.

 

At least I got to wear my sunglasses. The weather was sunny and we sat on the upper deck for most of our sightseeing cruise. But as far as sightseeing

..I see more sights in my bathtub..and that includes parts of me.

 

We did have some entertainment..some freaky looking guy who kept singing Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary and even Happy Engagement while strumming on his guitar to some couples and individuals celebrating their respective special days on this memorable cruise. At least I didn't end up on Gilligan's Island. I don't think I could stand the boredom I would have encountered for even one day.