Aggie, Longhorns and everything Texas

Group for all Texans and those who would to rather be in Texas.
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  • Aggie

  • Aggie


    I hope you can find your turkey and share it with family and friends.
  • Aggie

  • Aggie

  • Aggie

    Never Lose Your Grandson !
    A heart-warming story.

    A small grandson got lost at the shopping mall..........

    He approached a uniformed security guard and said, I've lost my grandpa!"

    The guard asked, "What's his name?"
    "Grandpa"

    The guard smiled, then asked, "What's he like?"

    The little tyke hesitated for a moment and then replied, "Jim Beam whiskey, and women with big boobs."
  • Aggie


    Lunch at Mi Tierra's with Eons in San Antonio.
  • Aggie


    Santa's new helper.
  • Aggie

  • Aggie

    When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

    Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

    When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

    Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

    Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

    Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

    The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

    And thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree. Not a lot of people know this.

  • Aggie

  • Aggie

  • Goldilocks46

    :-D
  • Aggie

    When I bought my Blackberry I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

    That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

    My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

    The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

    I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship.

    When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

    To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

    The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.

    Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot."
  • Aggie

  • Aggie

    How about a picture of 8 point buck in back yard first day of deer season?
  • Goldilocks46

    That's more than we had at the cabin this year.
  • Aggie

    "Gotta love those Texans".

    I saw a fundamentalist Muslim extremist fall into the Rio Grande River this morning; he was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying.

    Along with him was an illegal Hispanic drug cartel member who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs that was strapped to his back.

    If they didn't get help, they'd surely drown.

    Being a responsible Texan and abiding by the law to help those in distress, I informed the El Paso County Sheriff's Office and Homeland Security.

    It is now 4pm, both have drowned, and no authorities has responded.

    I'm starting to think I wasted two stamps.
  • Bob Stepp

    High abd Dry

    When a cowboy heard a stranger comment that a certain river was so dry that he crossed it without getting the tops of his shoes wet, the cowboy sniffed and said,"I onc't rode a steamboat down the Brazos when we couldn't see the banks for the clouds of dust raised by the paddle wheel."

  • Aggie

    Good one, Bob!
  • Aggie

  • Bob Stepp

    They met on a bridge at midnight.

    They will never meet again.

    One was a west bound heifer,

    The other an east bound train.

  • Aggie

  • Aggie

  • Aggie

  • Goldilocks46

    Thanks for these, Aggie, Bob!  LOL!
  • Aggie

  • Aggie

    I left work early the other Thurday after the rolling blackouts. But by time I got to farm pipes were frozen. The top of one of my 36 inch hackberry trees broke and brushed against transformer. Was not getting enough electric to run central unit. Got fixed late Thursday night by Electric Coop but damage was already done. Had a 1/2 inch snow blizzard the other Friday and my computor is out since rolling blackouts. Friday fixed frozen facets and got water going for cows. Then about 10am Saturday pipe thawed in wall of house and had water fall coming out of north wall of house. Same place froze last year. Unable to find plumbing supplies, every hardware store sold out in Brenham. Been fixing what I have parts for this weekend.

    Other than my plumbing and my laptop going out I am fine. I hope ya'll are doing great.

    Your Aggie friend,

    Randy
  • Goldilocks46

    Good to hear you're OK, Aggie, but I'm sorry about your laptop and the plumbing at the farm.

    George and I are fine.  He and I hope you and Pru had a good day today!

  • Aggie

    I had a 1/2 snow blizzard at the farm. Got down to 17 degrees while power was off and top of 36 inch tree hit transformer on main line. By Saturday the house thawed out and had water fall coming out north wall of house. 2/3 of plumbing repairs complete. Hope to finish this weekend. Laptop is still out. My only connection to internet is now library.
  • Aggie

    Texas Independence Day!
    The 175th anniversary of the signing of the Texas Declaration of Independence will be commemorated during a free two-day festival Feb. 26-27 2011 from 10 a.m. until 5 p.m. each day at Washington-on-the-Brazos State Historic Site. This celebration brings to life the Republic of Texas era.

    The celebration will have costumed re-enactors, members of the Texas Army, craftsman and musicians.
  • Goldilocks46

    Happy Texas Independence Day!
  • Aggie

    Pru the cow is a mother again on Thursday! 25 pound 8 ounce girl. At her side are Wendy and Sandy. She is registored at M-G Feed.
  • Goldilocks46

    Congratulations on the addition to your herd, Aggie!
  • Aggie

    Pru the cow had a heifer named Pru Jr..  Both are doing well.
  • Aggie



    Pru the cow and Pru Jr at two weeks old.
  • Bob Stepp

    .....And on the Eighth day God created Texas.
  • Aggie

    The Easter Tree

    Strangely enough, such a thing as an Easter tree already exists, and it can be found in Germany. Around 1945, when he was just a young boy, Volker Kraft saw his very first Easter Tree (Eierbaum, Osterbaum or Ostereirbaum, in German), and decided he would have one of his very own, when he grew up. Time passed and young Volker became a married man, with a family and everything. But his childhood dream stuck with him and he decorated his first Easter Tree, in 1965. He used 18 colored plastic eggs.

    But the tree was growing fast and he and his wife, Christa couldn’t afford to waste so many Easter eggs. So they began drilling holes into the eggs, using the contents in the kitchen, and the painted shells as decorations. When their children grew up, they started helping with the decorating,and the Easter Tree became a family tradition, known not only in their home town of Saalfeld, but all of Germany.

    After their kids moved out of the house, it seemed the Easter Tree would finally catch a break, but grandsons arrived and the Krafts went back to decorating their giant tree. The number of Easter eggs hung by the tree’s branches grew every year,and in 2010 it reached an incredible 9,500 eggs.
  • Aggie

  • Aggie

  • Aggie

  • Aggie

  • Goldilocks46

    Good one.
  • Aggie

  • Aggie

    Cat Spring Agricultural Society is having it's 155th annual June Fest on Sunday June 5th. Find me and we can ride on a real hellicopter. Cat Spring Agricultural Society is the oldest Ag Society in Texas.
  • Aggie

  • Aggie

    Never squat while wearing your spurs...

    Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash, was one of the greatest political sages this country has ever known.

    1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

    2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

    3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

    4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

    5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

    6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

    7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.

    8. There are three kinds of men:
    The ones that learn by reading.
    The few who learn by observation.
    The rest of them who have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

    9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

    10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then To make sure it's still there.

    11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.
  • Aggie

    Beware of Land Titles !

    Rebuilding New Orleans caused residents often to be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite difficult to establish ownership. Here's a great letter an attorney wrote to the FHA on behalf of a client:

    A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply.

    (Actual reply from FHA):
    "Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

    Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
    (Actual response):
    "Your letter regarding title in Case No.189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 206 years covered by the present application.

    I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased by the United States from France, in 1803 the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Queen Isabella.

    The good Queen Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus's expedition...Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it, and the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our loan?"

    The loan was immediately approved
  • Aggie

    You (we) know you're from Texas if:

    1. You measure distance in minutes.
    2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
    3. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
    4. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
    5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixin to go to the store.
    6. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
    7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
    8. You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.
    9. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.
    10. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
    11. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
    12. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
    13. The local papers covers national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
    14. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
    15. You find 100 degrees F "a little warm."
    16. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, Still summer, and Christmas.
    17. You know whether another Texan is from east, west, north or south Texas as soon as they open their mouth.
    18. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
    19. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin" or off to "Wally World."
    20. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
    21. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.
  • Aggie

  • Aggie