TBD on Ning

These jokes may not be entirely politically correct, but if we can still laugh at ourselves there is hope for the world.

A blonde goes into the drug store to buy some rubbers (so she can practice safe sex).

She walks up to the pharmacist and asks "How much for a box of rubbers?"

"They're a dollar for a box of three," he replied.  "Plus six cents for the tax."

"Oh," said the blonde.  "I wondered how they kept them on."

Tags: blonde, humor, jokes

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*A school inspector is visiting a 8th Standard class in a school .*
He is introduced to the class by the teacher, Miss Yvonne.
She says to the class: "Let's show the inspector just how clever you are by allowing him to ask you a question."
The inspector decides to ask a Biblical question. He says, "Class, who broke down the walls of Jericho?"
For a full minute there is absolute silence. All the children just stare at him blankly.
Eventually Thomas raises his hand and the Inspector points excitedly to him.
Thomas stands up and says: "Sir, I don't know who broke down the walls of Jericho, but it wasn't me."
The inspector looks at the Miss Yvonne for an explanation. She says, "Well, I've known Thomas and his family for many years and I believe that if he says that he didn't do it, then he didn't do it."
The inspector is shocked at the level of ignorance. He storms down to the Principal's office and tells him what happened.
The Principal replies, "Look, I don't know the boy, but I socialise every now and then with his teacher and I believe her. If Mis Yvonne feels that the boy was not involved, then he must be innocent."
The inspector can't believe what he is hearing. He grabs the phone on the Principal's desk, dials the Education Minister and relates the entire episode, and asks him what he thinks of the education standard in the school.
The Minister sighs heavily and replies, "Arre Inspoector mhojea bhava, you know I'm very bezy. I don't know the boy, the teacher or the principal. Just get three competitive quotes, add 30% for me, and have the wall fixed by my brother-in-law.

Johnny, 16 years old and an altar boy in the local Catholic church, goes to confession.
"Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I had "relations" with a loose girl."
The priest, recognizing his voice, says "Oh my, Johnny. This is very serious! I simply MUST know who it was so we can solve this problem. Was it Cathy Jones?"
"Father, I'm sorry, I can't say. I'm sworn to protecting her identity so as not to further ruin her repuation."
"Johnny, I can't accept that answer. Was it Julie O'Malley?"
"Father, please... I really can't say."
"Johnny, I IMPLORE you to tell me, so I can save her as well. Was it Lisa Murdoch?"
"Father, for the last time, I am sworn to secrecy."
The priest sighs in resignation, and says "Very well, Johnny. You are to say 5 Hail Mary's and you are suspended from altar boy duties for 4 months!"
Later that day, Johnny finds Pete, his best friend, also an altar boy. Pete says "OK, Johnny... so what did you get?"
"Four months vacation and three great leads!"

One day, a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?”
"It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?”
He yelled back, "Texas A & M."




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